30 days of Batman and Joker
by Dyn-in-Red
Summary: 30 days challenge from Tumblr! Follow Batman and the Joker's love story from the begining to the end... In only 30 days! Shoul be updated every day. Enjoy!
1. First

**Hello everyoooone ! Ok, this is my very first fanfiction in english. I'm not a bilingual, so I'm sorry if my english is not perfect. My writing would have been much better in french buuuut I doubt there is many french people who are into BatJokes. **

**Hope you'll enjoy!  
**

* * *

It had been a month since the Joker had started to spread chaos through Gotham. A month since almost every night, he and the Batman had been chasing each other. Tonight was no exception. The Joker was currently fighting against Batman. He had blown a school up, and hundreds of children had died. It was the first time he had murdered citizens so young, and he was still laughing at the Bat's face when he had discovered what he had done. The Joker was sure that by killing those brats, he had finally made the Bat realize he had no limits. Everyone could be killed: men, women, children. Even babies. They were all the same, after all.

Batman took him by the throat, and lifted him above the ground. The Joker laughed maniacally. He took out his pocket knife, and aimed at Batman's heart. But the Bat was quick. He moved, and managed to avoid the knife. Angrier than before, Batman tightened his fingers around the clown's neck…

"Well, seems that you finally caught me, Batman," the Joker smiled. "Go on, then. Kill me. You know I deserve it. You know _I_ would have killed _you_ if I had been in your Bat-shoes, Ahehehe!"

"I won't kill you", Batman answered. He didn't loosen up his grip, though.

The Joker's smile suddenly turned into a furious frown.

"WHY?" he spat. "Don't I deserve to die by your hands, Batman? Don't I?"

"No. No one deserves to die by someone's hands."

He put him gently on the ground. The Joker was staring at him, and Batman could read the confusion in his acid green eyes.

"If I killed you, I wouldn't feel any relief", Batman admitted. "I would not feel better. I would only turn into the monsters that I chase every night."

The Joker blinked.

"You mean…" he said, incredulous. "That you'll never kill me? Whatever I do?"

"Exactly."

"Even if I'd burn the entire city?

"I still wouldn't kill you."

"Not even if I'd torture your little birdie?"

"No. I'm not saying that I wouldn't _want_ to kill you. But I wouldn't actually do it."

"HAHAHAHEHE! Oh…Hohohoho…You are just too much…Hehe…"

He put his hand on Batman's cheek and smiled. But this smile was different from his usual psychopathic one. This smile was…_sincere_.

"…_Darling_…"

It was the first time the Joker called Batman darling. The first time he thought how Batman was different from any other human being.

For the first time in his life, he realized he had met someone that he did not want to see dead. No. He wanted to dance with Batman forever. To be in this bat's arms, to be near this fascinating man who did not think that he deserved to die. To be close to this friend who would always be by his side.

He smiled fondly at the Bat.

Yes. For the first time in his life, he thought that maybe, maybe…

_He might be in love…_


	2. Just for you

« Ooooh Bruce, you are sooo charming ! »

Bruce forced a smile, but deep inside, he wanted to scream at his pretty but oh so annoying date to shut up. Her voice was annoying, her behavior was annoying, her laugh was annoying…Gosh, even her hair was annoying! Her _hair_ for God's sake! It was the exact same color, the exact same cut as any other dumb blonde's hair. Did all the models go to the same hairdresser? If only he didn't have his fake playboy persona to keep on…He could date whoever he wanted. Hell, he could even choose to not date anyone! He was so tired of all those dull models…

But he had to carry on. People expected him to have dinner in expansive places with gorgeous models, and so he did…

"I feel so lucky to be in your company, Bruce! How many girls would wish to be in my shoes? Huhuhu!"

"Hahaha."

She took his hand. Bruce's eyebrow twitched, but he had to pretend to like this sudden contact.

"So, what do we do after dinner, Darling?"

This time, he did not manage to hide his anger. He pulled off his hand, and gave her a dark look:

"Don't call me that."

She frowned.

"Why?"

She looked pretty upset by this rejection. Bruce decided to soften his voice; he didn't want her to spread the rumor that Bruce Wayne was a cold jerk or anything.

"Look, I'm sorry," he said, taking her hand again. "It's just that…Uhm…I know someone that calls me that, and I feel like he's the only one to get this right."

"You've got a male friend who calls you _Darling_?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't say he was my friend."

She gave him a strange look.

"I mean, he's not my boyfriend either", he added quickly. "He's just someone I've known for a long time. He calling me Darling is kind of a joke, you see?"

"Oh. Oh, I understand, no prob," she smiled. "How can I call you, in that case?"

"Why not try Bruce?"

"Nah, that's boring."

_You are boring_, he thought.

"How about Brucie?" she asked. "Or Baby? Honey?"

"How about, _never_ calling him again?"

Bruce froze. He could recognize this voice anywhere.

The Joker.

He was standing in the doorway. His hair was crazier than usual, almost frizzy with the rain.

_He was not smiling._

Bruce started to worry. Even Batman had difficulties to deal with an angry Joker. There was no chance he could do something to stop him as Bruce Wayne.

People fled to the exit, running for their lives, but the Joker didn't pay any attention to them. No. His green eyes were focused on…on Bruce's date.

He walked towards him. She was apparently too scared to move, and when the Joker grabbed her by the throat, she didn't even scream.

"Leave her alone." said Bruce. He stood up from his chair, but the Joker immediately pointed his gun on him.

"I don't see a lot of conviction in your words, playboy", the Joker smirked. "In fact, I'm suuuure you would enjoy it a lot if I killed her…Let's see if I'm right, shall we?"

And before Bruce could try anything to the save girl, a loud "BANG" was heard. The second after, the girl was bleeding on the floor, dead.

Bruce looked at the Joker. He was eventually smiling.

"Why?" Bruce asked, using his Bat-voice without noticing it."Why did you kill her?"

"Why, says you? Well, Darling…I could see you were bored with her. Hehehe! Sooo I think you could say that…" he batted his eyelashes. "_I did it just for you_…."


	3. Mutual Goals

"I only want to help you!"

The Joker laughed madly at Batman's naivety. Oh, sometimes, he was just too cute.

"You can't help me, Bats! I've already told you! It's far too late for me…"

Batman managed to avoid the sharp card that his nemesis had just thrown at him.

"It's never too late, Joker! Please, let me help you!"

"Hehe! You still _don't_ understand, do you Darling? I am the one who wants to help you…"

He walked towards Batman, raising his hands, showing that he didn't want to hurt him. Batman let him get closer to him, but he nonetheless had a batarang ready to be thrown at the clown in case he would try something…funny.

"What do you mean?" Batman asked.

"I want to help you loosen up a bit... You have to let it go, Bats. It's the only way for you to stop suffering. And oh, how I want you to be happy, darling!"

He put his arms around Batman's broad shoulders, and pressed his chest against the Knight's black armor. Batman did not put him away. For once, the Clown didn't seem to be up to no good, and he feared that he might return to his normal psychopathic self if he'd reject him. Well, at least it was the reason that he wanted to believe. The truth was that the warm feeling that filled his heart was just too good to be cut off.

"Why won't you join me into madness, my Dark Knight?" the Joker purred in Batman's ear. "We would be happy together. I promise."

"That's impossible and you know it perfectly well," Batman snapped. "Just like it's impossible for you to join me into sanity."

"Then I'm afraid we're in a dead end. Because I'll always try to save you. I'll never give up on you."

Batman took the Joker's chin, and locked eyes with him.

"Me neither."

The Clown stayed silent for a few seconds, admiring the determination in his bat's icy blue eyes. And then he laughed.

"HEHEHE!"

"What's so funny?"

"We…HEHE! We have a mutual goal, Bats!"

Batman blinked. The Joker couldn't stop laughing; the irony was too much to bear. Ordinary nemesis's mutual goal was to kill each other. But them, they were not your average nemesis. Nononono. They were best friends as well. Even lovers, if you asked the Joker. And what was lovers' mutual goal? Why, to be together forever, of course.

And _that_ was their true mutual goal.


	4. Break-Ups

"I'm breaking up with you."

Batman stared at the Joker with an incredulous look. He had just found him in a dark alley and was about to kick his butt, as usual, but once again, the Clown had managed to take him by surprise with his nonsense.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he snapped.

"Oh, don't be sad, Darl- _Batman_. It's not me, it's you."

"Wh-"

"Shhhh, don't give me that look. It will make things even more difficult for me." He faked a sad face and looked up at Batman. "I'll never forget the time we spent together, but it's over. I put an end to our dance."

"You finally decided to stop crime?" asked Batman, clearly amused. He still didn't know what the Clown had planned, but he was obviously in one of his "armless prankster" mode. He could see that by the look in the Joker's eyes. There was no threat in it. Just a tiny bit of playful madness.

"Hehehe, don't be ridiculous, BATMAN."

The way he humorously put the emphasis on the word "Batman" – word that he didn't say that often, preferring other words such as "Bats", "Batsy" and "Darling" – proved that he was definitely playing.

"I'm simply tired of you rejecting me.", the Joker pouted. "It really hurts my feelings, you know." He wiped a non-existent tear from his eye. "I…I don't want to suffer anymore! Therefore, I'm leaving you… forever…"

He placed his hands on his heart, looking like teenage girl in love. Batman couldn't help but grin.

"Cut the act, Joker."

"I'm not acting! I'm really leaving you!"

"…Ok, then. Go on. Leave me. I'm watching you."

The Joker tried desperately to stay in character, to keep a serious face, but the situation was too much funny to not laugh.

"HAHAHA! Oh, Baby, I think you know me a bit too well. You're right, I could never leave you! I love you too much! Hehehehe!"

Batman's expression suddenly darkened.

"You don't love me," he said.

"Still in denial, eh, Bats? You are the world's greatest detective, but you fail to see the obvious…"

"And that would be…?"

"Why, that I'm in love with you, of course!"

"You aren't."

"C'mon, Batsy, stop being as blind as a bat, hehe! I think about you all the time. I see you in my dreams. Everything I do is to catch your attention. I want you to be mine, and I hate when you play with the other super-villains…"

"It's nothing more but a sick obsession. This isn't love."

"My heart beats faster when I see you…" he purred, walking towards Batman in a seductive manner.

"It's the adrenalin."

"No. It's love."

"It can't be."

The Joker snuggled against Batman's chest and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Why?" he whispered.

"Because it would mean that I'm in love with you as well."

"…What?"

"I think about you all the time," Batman admitted. "My heart beats faster when I see you."

"And you still think that you're not in love with me? Geez, you are even more in denial that I thought, Bats!"

"I don't love you! You are insane, delusional, and-"

The Joker didn't let Batman the time to end his sentence. In a quick move, he closed the small gap that separated him from his Bat and kissed him.

He moaned. Gosh, it felt so good. Why did it take him so long to kiss Batsy? He had been dreaming of his lips for such a long time! The only part of his hero that was still human. The only part of his God that was _accessible_. He could feel his flesh under his bloody red lips. He could smell his skin…Oh, yes, he was closer to his Knight than ever…Of course, he also loved a good fight, but _this, _this was heaven.

The Knight stayed silent. He didn't know what to say, to be honest. The kiss felt…strangely good. Way better than when he kissed one of his model, or even Catwoman….

Maybe the Joker was right. Maybe he was in love with him…

He kissed the Joker back, and the Clown smiled against his lips, melting in Batman's strong arms…


	5. Memory

Sometimes I remember things from other lives. Oh no, I'm not referring to the life I led before being the Joker. I really don't remember this one. What I'm talking about here is _past lives. Alternative lives_. Call me crazy, but I see them in dreams, when I manage to get some sleep.

Sometimes I am a shy little child. Sometimes I'm a normal citizen who is obsessed by his work– how boring it is! Sometimes I'm a lovely woman. Sometimes I'm a strong super-hero. There is even this life where I am the Joker, but I've got scars and make-up instead of my bleached white skin and my natural, gorgeous emerald hair….Hehehe.

There is an element that never changes, though.

It's _you_.

No matter who I am, you are always by my sides. You always take the most important place in my life. When I am this boring citizen, you are my almighty boss. When I am a super-hero, you are – and oh, how ironic is that! – you are my nemesis. When I am a shy boy, you are my protective elder brother.

When I'm a woman, you are my husband.

This life is my favorite, I must say. I truly hope it's one of our past lives that I remember, and not just an alternative live that we are currently leading in some other dimension. I want to think that I have ever been married to you.

Hehehe, why so surprised, Bats?

…What?

Oh, you didn't know I was the romantic type? Really? Hehe! You know that everything I do is motivated by the love I have for you, right, Darling? HAHAHA!

You don't think it's funny? C'mon, why so seriouuusss?

…What? Oh, it's something this other Joker – the one with the scars – often says. It sounds great, don't you think? No? Ok, Ok, what about this one:

_Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?_

HEHEHE!

You don't like this one either? Really? Aaaw, you're a tough audience, Batsy!

Let's get back to the hubby and wifey thing, shall we? I think in this life, my name was Rebecca. Or Alexandra….or maybe Selinaaaa…

Calm down! Calm down! I'm only joking! Geez, Bats, you _really _are "so serious"! AHehehe!

Names don't matter, after all. Nonono. All that matters is the fact that I was oh so happy in this life. My man was dark, tall, handsome and rich; we lived in a huuuuge mansion and…and we even had a butler! How classsssy!

We may have had children. Hahahaha! Can you imagine our children Bats? Well, let's just say that they had interesting personalities, those kiddos. Hehehehe!

….What? Me? Disgusting? Why, because I'm thinking of having children with you? Oh, please, Darling, don't tell me you've never thought of it, Hehehehehe!

Besides…You didn't exactly find me disgusting when we, uh, _made_ those children…

AHEHEHE! Yessss, thank you, memory! I remember this part! You were both sweet and rough, just like I'm expecting you to be, Baby…

…Oooh, you. Don't look at me with your dark eyes like this, you'll make me blush. Hehe.

Hey, you wanna hear something funny, Bats? Even if I was as I told you, oh so happy in this life, sometimes I dreamed of moooore. Sometimes I wished we were not husband and wife. Hehehe! Yes, sometimes, this lovely woman that I was dreamed of being the Joker.

HEHEHAHAHAHA!

You are still not laughing? Not even a smile? That's because you don't get the punch line, Batsy. Don't you understand? If she dreamed of being me…Then maybe _we _are the dream, and _she_ is the real me…

Maybe we really are husband and wife.

…

Or maybe I've just made that up because I'm hoping you will propose to good ol' me.

HEHEHEHE!


	6. Completly, Unaltered truth

"No…Hmmf….Jack… …NO!"

The Joker woke up in sweat, screaming. He had this nightmare again…

He frowned and passed his hand through his messy green hair. Damn it. He had though that spending his night for the first time with Batman would get him rid of the nightmare…Obviously, he had been wrong.

"Joker…are you ok?" Bruce asked in a sleepy voice.

"Yes, yes, Bats. Go back to sleep, I'm ok."

Batman didn't listen. He took the Joker by the shoulder, and forced him to look at thim in the eyes.

"If you want this relationship to work, you'll have to trust me," Bruce said with a serious tone. "I told you who I am. You know my story, my past. You know everything about me…And though, I don't even know your real name."

"My real name is the Joker", he said, looking away. "Look, I don't remember anything about my past life." He pointed his forehead with his index. "It's all blurry in there."

"Tell me who Jack is, then."

"Jack?"

"You were screaming his name in your sleep."

"I…"

The Joker bit his lips. How he hated when he was at a loss of words…

"Joker." Bruce said. "Tell me the truth."

"I don't…don't really know who Jack is…I…In my dream, he is just an ordinary guy. He goes to work, and hates every bit of it. He is the type of guy who has dreams that had never come true, you see? But he's not…sad…No, he enjoys life. An optimistic, you could say. A bit weird, but in the good way. People like him. He has no wife, though. He has not met the right person yet…" he sighed. "But none of that matters, because Jack always dies at the end of the dream."

"And what part do you take in Jack's life?"

"…None, I think. In the dream, I just watch him. I can't interact with him. Can't even save him."

"You want to save him?"

Bruce raised an eyebrow. It was extremely rare that the Joker wanted to save someone from dying…

"Yeah, I know, sounds weird, right?" the Joker snickered. "I don't know why I want to save him so desperately. Like I said, I don't know him."

Bruce had never seen the Joker like this. He seemed so…sad. So vulnerable. He took him in his arms.

"Do you often dream of that?" he whispered.

"Always."

Bruce caressed Joker's curls, and the Clown giggled quietly. The vigilante had long learned that laughing was the only way that the Joker knew to express feelings he considered weak. Better laughing than crying.

"Have you ever thought that this Jack could be...you?" Bruce asked.

The Joker shook his head.

"I…I haven't but…Brucie, you really think Jack could be _me_?"

He looked terrified by this idea, and Bruce understood why. The Joker had always been pride of not remembering his past life, because for him, what he was before didn't matter anymore. Suddenly becoming aware that he actually had a life before the chemical bath could be a bit unsettling…

"What if he is?" Bruce said. "Would you like it?"

"I…Humf, I don't care."

It was a lie, and both Bruce and the Joker knew it.

"Do you want me to make research on the subject?" Bruce asked.

"I told you I didn't care!" he spat, pushing him away. "Now, I'm going back to Slumberland, if you don't mind. I need my beauty-sleep!"

"Alright. Sleep well, then.."

He did not get any answer from the Joker. Bruce sighed, hoping the Clown would be in a better mood tomorrow morning. He was about to fall asleep when the Joker put his head on his chest, wrapping his arms around his torso.

"Good night, Darling."

Bruce smiled and kissed the Joker on his head.

"Good night…Jack."


	7. Awkward place for Bruce

Bruce was about to open the precious envelop that contained the name of the future Miss Gotham. He really hated this kind of event, but as the playboy billionaire bachelor that he was, he was always chosen to reveal the winner of this annual beauty contest.

The crowd facing him was shivering with anticipation, and half of the Misses were crying. Deciding to finally put an end to the contest, he opened the envelop…

"And the winner is…"

"Hold on!"

Bruce sighed. Not him. Not _now_. Not as he was attended to an important event as _Bruce Wayne_!

He turned his eyes towards the Joker that had just arrived to ruin the contest and…and stared at him for at least one entire minute.

The Joker, Clown Prince of Crime, was wearing the fluffiest dress he had ever seen. It was purple of course, and he was wearing it with a pair of long emerald gloves. Really, he could give lesson to Disney Princesses.

"Hellooo Gotham!" The Joker said, waving at the crowd. "I hope I'm not too late to take part of the contest? Hehe!"

"Why are you doing this, Joker?" Bruce asked, trying to sound a bit afraid.

"Because I want to be Miss Gotham, duh! Are you as dumb as all the magazines say you are?"

The Joker giggled and Bruce wondered if he would manage to keep control. He didn't care if the Clown slept in his bed every nights, he definitely needed to be beaten to (almost) death.

"Yes, hum, I have to say my rivals are all soooo pretty!" The Joker said, looking at the terrorized girls. "But I am the fairest of all, my mirror told me, HEHEHE!"

He then bounced towards Bruce and took the envelop from his hands.

"Let's have a look" he smiled. "And the winner is… MARIA POND! Maria Pond? Who is Maria Pond?"

All the girls were crying loudly, too afraid to answer the Joker.

"C'moooon girls, don't make me wait!" the Joker warned with his infamous creepy smile. "I said _who is Maria Pond_!"

Once again, the only answers he got were sobs.

"Answer me!" he barked angrily.

"I'm-I'm-I'm Maria Pooond…" a girl cried, raising her hand.

"Oh, and aren't you a cutie!" The Joker giggled. "Come over here, sweetheart!"

He took her violently by the wrist and brought her in front of the stage.

"So, Brucie, what did she win?" he asked.

Bruce gave him an angry look, the kind of look that meant "wait until I put the Bat-suit on".

"She wins 2000$, lots of clothes, a trip to Paris for two and a kiss from me."

When he saw the Joker's eyes sparkle, he knew he shouldn't have said the "a kiss from me" part.

"HAHAHAHA! You mean, all I had to do to get a kiss from you was to win a beauty contest? Oooh, that is hilarious! HAHAHA!"

Bruce had hoped that the Joker wouldn't have said anything like that in front of that crowd. He really didn't need people to think he was the Joker's toyboy.

"Yes, but you didn't win", Bruce said. "So you won't get any kiss today. Now leave, please."

The Joker paused for a second. Then he smiled wide, showing every single tooth of his mouth, and before Bruce could react, he shot Maria Pond right between her pretty eyes.

The girls screamed and fled the stage immediately. Bruce could tell that the crowd was horrified as well, but no one moved. They must have been too curious about what was going to happen next to leave.

"Now that the pretty Miss Gotham is dead, and that all the other candidates are gone, I think the winner is obvious, right, Brucie-Baby?"

Bruce growled. The Joker was enjoying this too much.

"Go on, Honeycake. Say it."

"Ladies and Gentleman…" Bruce said unwillingly. "Miss Gotham 2014 is…The Joker."

The Joker waved at the crowd, an overjoyed expression painted on his face. When no one applauded, he aimed at the Gothamites with his gun. Cheers followed immediately.

"Thank you! Thank you!" he cried. "Oooh it is soooo unexpected! I want to thank my Mum, my Dad, my clownfish Harley and of course, Maria Pond who was so nice to let me take the title from her! Teehee!" He turned towards Bruce. "Now I want my price!"

He puckered his red lips, closed his eyes, and linked his hands together, in a great imitation of a love story heroine.

"Joker, do you really want me to kiss you in front of all those people?" Bruce whispered.

"Of course, Bats", he whispered as well. "What, are you shy? Gotham's playboy is _shy_? Hehehe!"

"I'm not shy! It's just…_awkward_."

"I don't really care, Bruce. I just want my price!"

And without any warning he pressed his lips against Bruce's. The crowd went crazy. Some were cheering, others were making sounds of disgust, but no one remained impassive…

"Hehe…You're blushing darling," the Joker giggled once the kiss was over. "You are so cute."

"Shut up. I hate you, you know that?"

"I know. You hate me so much I think you might be in love with me."

And then the Joker laughed maniacally, enjoying the fact that he had just given his true love the most awkward moment of his life…


	8. Unavoidable

"Do I really need to do it?"

"Yes, this is unavoidable if you want to come to this party with me."

"But Baaaats! I look so boring like that!"

"No 'buts". Gosh, you are such a child sometimes!"

The Joker pouted, but at least, he didn't try to put his 'boring' clothes off. Bruce grinned. He had to admit it, torturing the clown was really funny. And he liked when he was acting childishly. He wondered if it was his 'normal' personality, the one he had behind all this psychotic madness…

"There," Bruce said after having put a brown wig on the Joker's head. "You look fantastic."

"You're making fun of me!"

Bruce tried to not laugh.

"Not at all."

The Joker crossed his arms and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was wearing a dark purple jacket with black trousers. He had put some make-up on in order to hide his bleached white skin and cherry red lips. To complete the look, Bruce had bought him a pair of brown contact lenses. The Joker hated it. Brown was so dull.

"If you really don't like this look, you can still stay here," Bruce suggested.

"No way!" he spat. "If I let you go without me, you will dance with some bitch, I'll get mad, I'll kill her, you'll get mad, and instead of making rough love to me you'll put me back in Arckham like last time!"

"I warned you, Jack. I'm letting you live with me as long as you don't kill anyone. You knew what you were doing when you shot this poor girl."

"I'll kill every single person who gets too close to you!"

"Jack, you'd better behave at the party," Bruce warned again.

"I'll be good as long as you don't dance with anyone but me!"

"Fine! But I forbid you to kiss me in public again. I don't want Gotham to think that I swing this way."

"Haha, but you _do_ swing this way, Honey!"

Bruce pursed his lips. He still had difficulties to admit that he was in love with a man. The episode with Miss Gotham had been embarrassing enough; he didn't want to give the Gothamites other reasons to think that he might not be completely straight. He was not ready for that. Even Alfred didn't know.

The Joker kissed him on his cheek. His pale rose lipstick left a mark, and it felt strange, because the clown never wore lipstick. His lips didn't need any.

"You'll have to do your coming out someday, Bats. It's unavoidable…"


	9. Dawn's first light

The Joker was standing on a rooftop, the wind blowing through his messy green hair. It was a moonless night, and the Clown's white skin glowed in the dark, ghostly-like. Even for Batman, he was intimidating. But he had to chase him, because, despite all his warnings, he had killed again. Ten people, that nor Bruce, nor the Joker had known. A random murder, without any motives, expect for the thrill of a good fight with his darling Bats. Bruce had noticed that sometimes, the Joker was bored when he stayed in the mansion for too long. And the love that he received from Bruce wasn't enough. He _needed _to feel Batman's fists on him, _needed_ to feel the pain. So he killed, even if he knew that Batman would send him to Arckham for that. But he also knew that when he escapes, the window of Bruce's bedroom will be open.

Batman pressed the Joker's body against the wall, crushing him under his weight. The Clown winced, but he was laughing nonetheless.

"I missed you, Batsy" he said tenderly.

"If you miss Batman, why don't you ask Bruce to put the suit on, instead of killing people?" he asked, using his Bat-voice.

"Hahahaha! Silly Bats! It wouldn't be the same! You wouldn't have this anger…this…this _rage_ that I love so much…"

Batman wrapped his hands around his throat, shutting the Joker up. He hated to admit it, but he had missed fighting the Joker as well. He guessed that their danced, as the Clown would say, was simply a part of their relationship, they couldn't go without it.

The sun was rising. They had been chasing each other all night long? The early sunray shone on the Joker's face. They reflected on his hair, his eyes, and his lips. The frightening ghost was turning into a magical, enchanted creature, as if the sun had just broken some kind of curse…

"Hehe," the Joker giggled slightly. "It's funny to see you under the sunlight, Batsy. Will you burn, like a vampi-"

Batman crashed his lips against the Joker's, proclaiming his mouth his. The Joker was breathless. Batman never initiated the kiss, he was always the one to take the first move. But he wasn't complaining. This heated kiss gave him a feeling of submission that he really enjoyed. Batman was putting all his anger into that kiss, and it felt wonderful.

"I suppose you're not taking me back to Arckham?" he asked against Batman's lips.

"No. Not until the fall of the night. Batman and the Joker can't exist under the sun's light."

"It's ok," he laughed. "Jack loves Bruce just as much as The Joker loves Batman."


	10. Meet the parents

**THanks for the review ;) **

* * *

Batman looked at the modest little house that stood in front of him. Well, there it was. He had been apprehending this moment since the beginning of his research about 'Jack'. The Joker knew nothing of it of course: the Clown had been crystal clear; he didn't want Bruce to make any research about who he might have been before his chemical bath. But Batman wanted to know. It was stupid, he knew that. After all, nothing proved that this Jack whom the Joker constantly dreamed of was his past-self. For all he knew, Jack could simply be someone the Joker had known. Anyway, being the only clue Batman had concerning the Joker's past, he did some research, as the good detective he was. With only a first name, it had not been easy, but he had finally found an article about a certain Jack Napier who had mysteriously disappeared about five years ago.

Five years ago, the Joker was born.

It could be a coincidence, but it was the best lead he had. And tonight, he was in front the house of Jack Napier's parents. He didn't think he had ever been that nervous. What if he had been wrong, and that the Joker had nothing to do with Jack Napier? What if Jack Napier had actually been a victim of the Joker?

He was thinking too much. He was Batman, god dammit! All he had to do was to knock at the door, and explain quietly to the couple the reason of his visit. Yes, it was that simple…

And so he knocked. A few seconds later, a woman with crazy brown hair and a tired face welcomed him. Her eyes opened wide at the sight of the Dark Knight.

"Oh my God…" she said. "Jean, come quick!"

"What is it, Roxanne?" asked a masculine voice from inside the house.

"It's…It's Batman!"

A man with dark blond hair and piercing green eyes arrived straight away. He eyed Batman and then invited him to come in.

Batman followed Mrs and Mr Napier to the living-room. The house was very small, and it wasn't hard to guess that the Napiers were not exactly rich.

"What can we do for you, Batman?" asked Mrs Napier.

Her smile was warm and welcoming, but her eyes reflected a sadness that only a mother who would have lost one of her child could show.

"I'm here to talk about your son", he said, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

The Napiers shared a look, and Mr Napier took his wife in his arms.

"We are listening", Mr Napier said.

Batman breathed in, and then announced:

"I think he might be the Joker."

He took time to watch the Napier's reaction. The man's eyebrow was twitching, while his wife started to cry.

"Our son is gone!" spat Mr Napier. "We have not heard of him for five years! We still have difficulties to recover from his loss…How dare you come here and ask us if our dear Jack is this horrible Clown?"

Batman gave them a sympathetic look.

"I know. And I'm sorry about your loss. So sorry. But I needed to be sure. If I knew more about the Joker's past life, I could understand him better, and therefore help him."

"Why would you help him?" Mrs Napier sobbed. "The Joker is your worst enemy…"

"He's…He's also my best friend" Batman admitted.

The couple stayed silent for a few seconds, staring at Batman. Obviously, they were not expecting this answer.

"I wish we could help you", Mr Napier finally said. " But as you know, Jack has been missing for so long. The police told us that he was surely dead. If he really was the Joker, we would have no idea."

"You have ever seen the Joker, at least on TV", Batman continued. " Can you see any physical resemblance with your son?"

Mrs Napier bit her lips.

"Well…Jack…Jack was very slim, even skinny. And he had my curly hair. But besides that, I see no resemblance…" she wiped a tear from her eyes. "Oh, Batman. Jack was such a sweet boy. The nicest man you'll ever see. He can't…He can't have become this monster, it's impossible…"

"The Joker is not a monster," Batman said darkly. "He is insane. He doesn't realize that killing is bad. For him, life is nothing but a joke, and death is simple its biggest punch line. A monster is aware of what he does is bad. The Joker is not." He paused, and when he understood that the Napiers wouldn't add a word, he went on. " Well, if you have nothing else to say, I think I'm going to go. Thank you for your time."

His cape flowing behind him, Batman walked at the door and left, without any last glance to the couple…

* * *

"I knew he would come someday," Mrs Napier said to her husband.

"Yes, well, he took his time. For the world's greatest detective, he is not very perceptive..."

"Hey, my Batsy is a good detective!" the Joker spoke, coming out of the shadow and walking towards Mr and Mrs Napier.

He had immediately guessed that Bruce would make some researches about Jack, and when he had discovered that the detective had found his supposedly parent's address, he decided to visit the nice couple himself. Mr and Mrs Napier had recognize him in the moment, but Batman had shown up at their door before they could talk. The Joker had waited in a dark corner of the living room, watching the conversation attentively. What Batman had said about him not being a monster had deeply moved him.

"Sooo…according to you, I really am your son?" he snickered. "It's good to know! I would hate to kill my parents! When I see what Bruce has become, I really don't want to be an orphan, hehehe!

"You don't remember us?" asked Mrs Napier, a bit chocked.

"I'm afraid I don't, Mummy! Seems that acid is bad for your memory. Heh, who would have guessed? Oh, by the way, thanks for not having said the truth to Bats, it's sooooo funnier this way. HEHEHE!"

His maniac laughed soon turned into a weak giggle. He then looked at his parents, and asked in an uncharacteristic soft voice:

"Was I really that nice?"

Mrs Napier pressed her hands against her mouth, and then ran to hug her long lost son. Mr Napier, a bit less sentimental, simply put his hand on the Joker's shoulder, in a warming gesture.

The Joker didn't know how to feel. Accepting Batman's love had not been hard, considering the fact that he had always loved him. But even in his strangest dreams, he had never expected to get some parental love. It was as weird as it was…good.

"We missed you so much," Mrs Napier whispered. "I don't care if you are Gotham's most dangerous psychopath, you will still be our little Jackie…"

"Stay close to Batman", Mr Napier added. "He cares for you."

The Joker smiled genuinely. Yes, Batman cared for him. He had known that for years. But for the first time, Batman was not the only one anymore.

And that was the sweetest feeling ever…


	11. Isolation

Tonight, the Joker was a very sad clown. Well, he had been for a week, from the night Batman had not shown up. He haven't seen his Batsy – or even his Brucie – for seven days. _Seven days_! He had done everything to attract the Bat's attention. Murders, buildings blowing up, twisted games with Arckham's doctors, and so on. As for Bruce, the windows of the mansion were closed, and the playboy had apparently not come out from his house for days.

Something was wrong with his Darling, and therefore, the Joker could not be happy. And he _hated_ not being happy. Like, really.

Well, that was enough. He had to do something, he could not just stay here in this alley, surrounded by ten dead corpses, and just wait for his Knight to come…So, he unwillingly decided to put his 'Jack Napier' disguise on, and knocked at the Wayne Mansion's main door.

Bruce's butler opened the door a short time after.

"Good evening, Sir", the butler said with a British accent. "May I help you?"

"Hi, hum…is Bruce here?"

Alfred eyed Jack, and then grinned.

"Aren't you the young man with which Master Bruce went to this party last week?"

"Yes, yes I am, sir!" he said enthusiastically. "Jack Napier is the name!"

"Nice to meet you, Mr Napier. It is certainly good to know that Master Bruce has finally made a friend."

"Oh yes, I am his bestest friend in the world!" he laughed.

Alfred, still smiling, raised an eyebrow. The way this man talked and laughed reminded him of someone, but he couldn't quite put his finger on who it might be.

"Can I come in?" asked Jack. "I haven't seen Bruce in a while, and I want to be sure he's ok."

Jack could see the hesitation in the butler's eyes. Oh, how he did want to grab him by the throat and shake him violently until he let him in! But he couldn't do that. He promised to Bruce, his butler was off-limit.

"I don't know if Master Bruce wants to see anyone", Alfred finally said.

"Is he sick? I want to be sick with him!"

"He is not sick, Sir. I don't know what is wrong with him."

"Pleaaaase, let me in! I know I can cheer Bruce up!"

Alfred sighed.

"Very well, Sir. I guess it cannot hurt anyone. Please, follow me."

Jack smiled wide and did as the butler told him. How exciting it was to be _invited_ inside the mansion! He had never come in by the front door, and the main hall was absolutely gorgeous. How rich Bruce was anyway?

They climbed some stairs, and finally arrived in front of what Jack recognized as Bruce's bedroom door. Jack tried to open it. It was locked. He knocked, but no one answered.

"Is he actually in there?" asked Jack.

"Yes, he is. He has only come out for eating. It has been like that for a week. He doesn't talk to anyone; I don't know what to do…"

Jack frowned. What was happening to Bruce? Was he feeling depressed? But why?

"Don't worry, I'll take care of him," Jack said. "Just…Could you leave us alone?"

Alfred paused for a second. Finally, he nodded.

"As you wish", he answered in a very serious tone. "I will be downstairs if you need me." He gave him an sympathetic look. "Good luck, Sir."

And then he left Jack alone in front of that damn locked door. He sighed, passing a hand through the brown hair of his wig.

"Bruce?" he asked, knocking at the door again. Oh, this situation reminded him of a movie he had just sawn. With a weak smile across his lips, he sang:

"I want to see the Batman…Come on let's go and play! You never chase me anymore, come at the door, it's like you've gone away! We used to be best buddies, and now we're not. I wish you would tell me whyyyy! I want to see the Batman… It could also be Bruce Wayne…"

"Go away, Jack."

Jack pouted. If he wanted to follow the movie, he would have to say 'Ok, bye', but there was no way in hell he would give up. So he continued:

"Bruce? Please I know you're in here. People are asking where you've been. I know I can help you, and I'm trying to, I'm right out here for you, just let me in! We at last have each other, It's finally you and me, what are you going to do?"

He fell on his knees and used the softest voice he was capable of:

"I want to see the Batman…"

No answer. He was about to force the door, when Bruce finally opened. He was standing in front of him, his face more serious than ever.

"Brucie!" Jack smiled.

Bruce extended his hand towards Jack and helped him stand up. He then took him in his arms, without any words. Jack smiled wider, giggling. Oh, he knew Bruce could not resist his soft, innocent voice!

"You put your disguise on," finally said Bruce in a dark, low voice, so close to the one he used when he was Batman and that sent shivers right to the Joker's spine. "I thought you would have rather died than putting it again."

"Well, you know what they say, people always do crazy things when they're in love, hehehe!"

"Alfred does not suspect anything?"

"You mean, about me being the Joker or about you and me being lovers?"

"…Both, I guess."

"I'm sure he hasn't found out who I am. Buuut he's a smart one, your butler. I wouldn't be surprised if he had guessed we are a bit more than friends…Hahaha!"

Bruce's lips pursed, but he added nothing. Jack snuggled against the playboy's shoulders.

"Where have you been?" he asked.

"In my room."

"Heh, for once, I'm not in the mood for jokes, Baby. Tell me what's wrong."

"If I say 'nothing', you won't believe me, right?"

"Indeed."

Bruce sighed.

"Ok. Listen. I don't want to talk about it right now. I just want to be alone for a little while. All you have to know is that it has nothing to do with you."

"Are you feeling bad because you failed to keep me from killing? You know I'm the only one to blame."

"You killed again?" he asked angrily.

"Uuuh…No, not at all! I've been a good clown! Teehee! Aaanyway. I can't let you mourn alone in that room. I'll stay with you until you feel better and- Hey, what is that?"

Something in Bruce's bed caught Jack's eyes. He ran into the room, ignoring Bruce who ordered him to stay outside.

The thing on the bed was a letter. Jack read it.

When he was done, he looked up at Bruce. His eyes were wet.

"Oh, Bats…" he whispered. " Don't worry, Darling. We'll find a solution…together."

* * *

**Just in case you wondered, the song the Joker sings is inspired by "Do you wanna build a snowman" from Disney's Frozen. :)  
**


	12. Children

Jack stared silently at Bruce. He knew he had to say something, but he really didn't know what.

He read the letter again. There was no misinterpretation. Bruce's demand for adoption has just been rejected.

" They said it was too early." Bruce explained in a broken voice. "I've only lost Jason one year ago. They also added that I was simply not made to be a father, being, and I quote, 'an immature playboy who couldn't even keep a girl for a day'. What the use of being a billionaire if I can't have the thing that matters the most for me!" He snickered. "If they knew who I really am…"

Jack grinned.

"I didn't know you wanted another Robin…"

Bruce looked at him angrily.

"I want another _child_!"

"Heh, same thing." He shrugged.

He was expected Bruce to answer something, to _react_, but the brunette stayed curiously silent. He was looking straight in Jack's eyes, with an expression of pure…_disgust_ that Jack failed to understand.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing." He answered coldly. "Sometimes I simply forget…" He walked towards Jack and snatched his wig out of his head, unleashing his curly green hair. "…who you are."

The Joker looked up at Bruce, his eyes menacing.

"And who am I, exactly?"

Bruce's eyes darkened.

"You're the one who killed my son."

"I did it for you!" he spat. " I could tell you didn't like him that much! He, like any other little birdie of yours, slowed you down! You are much stronger when you work alone!"

"They are my family!" he snapped.

"No! I am your family, Bats! Only me!"

Bruce grabbed him by his collar and raised him above the floor.

"You are _not_ my family", he whispered in a mean, sadistic tone.

"Shut up", he said, trying to escape Bruce's hold.

Bruce ripped off the Joker's jacket, revealing a bright purple shirt.

"You are just the representation of the madness that I sometimes need in my life."

"Shutupshutupshutup!"

He wiped the Joker's make-up off.

" You are nothing more. And I was so stupid to think you could understand how I feel. How _Bruce_ feels. All you care about is Batman!"

He threw the Joker on the floor, at the opposite side of the room. The Clown winced, but he made no sound that could make Bruce think he had hurt him.

"You _bastard_," the Joker hissed. "How dare you say I don't understand you, when clearly you're the one who doesn't understand?" He stood up. "Don't you remember what I said after having read the letter? It went something like 'we'll find a solution together'. Do you think I would have suggested helping you if I didn't care? Do you?"

"…I…"

"I'll be honest with you, Bruce. I hate your Robins. And I'll never regret what I've done to Birdie number two. But I really wanted to help you, because I know how important it is for you to have a child. Hell, I was even ready to raise this child with you! But I guess I'm the one who was stupid enough to think you could forget what I've done. I thought…I thought that during the day, when we are Jack and Bruce… I thought we could have a normal life, far from Batman and Joker…" He kicked the wig. "Haha…As if a wig and some make-up could conceal who I am. Heh. HehehehHAHAHAHAHA!"

And he laughed, and laughed again, and again. He couldn't stop. How stupid he has been! To say he had been the first to make fun of Harley when she thought he loved her back… Well, the joke was on him, now! He was the Harley of this relationship! How funny!

"Joker…Joker, stop", Bruce said.

But he couldn't. Because if he stopped, he was afraid that he might cry, and he wouldn't cry.

"Joker, listen to me!" Bruce insisted. "I'm sorry, I'm not in a very good mood, as you can see. That's why I wanted to be alone; I knew I would say things that I would regret if you came! Please, listen!"

He was still laughing, loudlier that ever. Bruce took him by his wrist, trying to calm him down.

"Joker…Jok- _Jack_!"

Suddenly, the laugh stopped, replaced by an expression of pure anger.

"Don't call me _that_!" the Joker cut. "I'm the Joker! Always have been, and always will!"

"…Ok, Joker, then, please, listen. It's true I can't forget who you are, or what you've done. But I can _forgive_ you. I…I forgive you."

The Joker stared at him, his face impassible. Then he looked down.

"Let go off me." he asked in a quiet voice.

"Joker…"

"LET GO OFF ME, BRUCE!"

Bruce obeyed. The second after, the Joker was gone. He had left by the window without addressing any last words to Bruce. The billionaire took his head in his hand and sat on his bed, more depressed that before the Joker's visit. Not being able to have another child was a thing, but losing the Clown's love was another…

He lay on his bed, trying to have some sleep despite the growing pain in his chest...

* * *

When he woke up on the next morning, he found a letter on the pillow on his right – Joker's pillow.

It was a letter from the adoption center. It was covered in blood, but Bruce managed to read that…that his demand had after all been accepted?

There was a picture joined to the letter; a picture of a little boy with dark hair and a mischievous smile. Behind the picture, he found a note, written in purple:

'His name is Tim Drake. I'm sure you'll be a perfect little Bat-dad for him. I cannot guarantee _I_ will be nice with him, but you can trust Jack. Did you knew he had always wanted to have a child as well ? Heh, I didn't neither, but that's what his parents told me. Anyway, he'll be more than happy to help you raise the boy.

Love and butterfly kisses,

Your one and only,

Joker.'

Bruce smiled, thinking that it may be the most wonderful day of his life…


	13. Intervention

Drinking a nice cup of coffee in one of his kitchen, Bruce was watching Jack playing with Tim in the nearest living room. They both spent a lot of time together, and Bruce had to admit that Jack was very gifted with children, maybe because he was himself extremely childish…

But as Jack gently sent Tim in his room, pretending it was time for his favorite TV show, Bruce noticed something was…wrong with the man. As soon as Tim was out of sight, he sarted to stare blankly at the wall in front of him. Then only a few second later, he took his head in his hand, mumbling some inaudible things, passing his fingers through the brown hair of the wig. He seemed to be…torn up by something, as if he was having an inner fight with himself.

It worried Bruce. Jack has been so nice since the arrival of Tim. Almost normal. The last move the Joker did had been to frighten the people from the adoption center, some weeks ago. But now… Jack seemed to be lost in some kind of madness…

He would have to talk to him, but for now, it was obvious Jack wanted to be alone. He wouldn't have send Tim back in his room otherwise.

Yes, he would talk with him tomorrow. For now, he had to get ready for his patrol...

* * *

It was a quiet night. Most of the super-villains were in Arckham, and all Batman had to do this night was to save a young woman from an aggression. Really, he had seen worst.

He wondered if he'll soon patrol with Tim. The boy had great potential, and there was no doubt that was the reason why Jack had chose him. Tim had not even been surprised when Bruce told him he was Batman. He already had guessed it, apparently. A fan, who would be more than happy to be the new Robin. But Bruce didn't know if he was ready to have a new sidekick. Could he really risk another boy's life?

He was about to go back to the Bat-cave, concluding that nothing would happen tonight, when he heard…

A laugh.

Joker's laugh.

Batman could feel his heart flinch. _Why, Jack? You were making so well…_

He ran towards the source of the laugh. He soon saw the Joker, with his crazy green hair, his bleached white skin and his terrifying smile. How could this madman be at the same time the Clown Prince of Crime and his nice little Jack? They were so different…

"Hello Daaaaarling!" The Joker said in a seductive tone, licking the enormous gun that he held in his right hand. "Mommy and Junior were waiting for you!"

"_Junior_?"

And then Batman saw him: Tim. On the floor. Bleeding.

_Unconscious_.

He froze for a moment, unable to move, unable to speak. He could barely hear the insufferable laugh of the Clown. All he could think of was Tim. Was he dead? No…No he couldn't he… He…

Before he could realize what he was doing, his was violently beating the Joker. The Clown was laughing madly, enjoying every bit if this new dance.

"WHY?" Batman growled, punching the Joker once again. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

"And why did you intervene, Bats? We were having fun! Jealous because I spend more time with him than with you? HEHEhe-"

BAM! Another punch in the Joker's face.

"Oooh yes, that's it! Be violent ! Be rough! Oooh, I love you so much, Batsy!" the Joker squealed.

"What did you do to Tim?" Batman barked.

"Me? I just wanted to make sure he would make a good Robin later! And I'm not disappointed, this kid has guts! He put up a decent fight! Hehehehe!"

Batman punched him once again, this time making him bleed.

"HEHEHE! I missed that so much!" the Joker laughed.

"Is that why you did that? Because you missed our fights?" he asked angrily, grabbing him by the colar.

"Yessss…Oh, and also because I was tired of playing the nice little father. I can't always be Jack, Bats. I need the Joker and… " he sighed. "Wanna hear a joke, Batsy? It freaked me out when I realized that Tim was making the Joker disappear. Me! Freaked out by a tiny lil' birdie! Isn't it hilarious? AhehHEHE!

Batman was listening carefully, and as the Joker's laugh was becoming lower and lower, he loosened up his grip.

"You know, Bats", the Joker went on. "When I'm with Tim, I don't feel this bloodlust anymore. I don't feel this...familiar madness. I just feel…Heh.._.normal_ and… I don't want that! I don't want that at all!"

He looked down at Tim and smiled weakly.

"He's not dead, Darling. Oh, I wanted to kill him, but…I couldn't. Even if you had not intervened. When…When I aimed the gun at him, I saw Jack, playing with him, feeling happier than ever. See? The brat softens me, just like you! Oh, the irony! Hehe!"

He placed his hand in Batman's cheek. The vigilante didn't move. What the Joker was saying was… fascinating. His anger was totally gone, all that mattered was the voice of the Clown. For the first time, the Joker had failed to kill someone other that Batman. It was... unbelievably amazing.

"Oh, Bats, I'm sorry." the Joker sighed. I'm afraid I'm not the insane, murderous, lovely Joker you knew and loved anymore. I can't even kill a nine years old…how ridicul-"

"I love you."

The Joker's pupils expand.

"What?"

"I love you. I don't think I've ever told you."

He stared.

"No. No, you haven't."

"Well, now I have." He coughed, thanking the mask for hiding his blush. "We lost enough time. Let's take you and Tim to the hospital."

"Oh, really, Bats, I'm okay!"

"Your face is so swollen I couldn't even recognize you."

"Jeez, I wonder who's to blame!"

"You're the one to blame. And I'll beat you like that every time you lay a finger on Tim. I'll beat you so hard you won't be able to move for at least a week."

"Oooh you. You know how to woo a girl, don't you."

He giggled.

"I love you too, Bats."

* * *

**I like to think that Jack is the one who really intervened, not Batman ;) (Huh, Joker is being schizophrenic XD)  
**


	14. Role Reversal

**Thank SOOOO MUCH for the reviews! It motivates me a lot! ^^**

* * *

I feel strange. That's the first thing that hits me when I wake up. I feel…lighter. As if I had suddenly lost all my muscle mass.

Thinking it's only an impression – I must be still half-asleep, that's all – I get out of bed, and, as I do on every morning, look at the still sleeping Jack on my right.

Except that it's not Jack that I see.

It's _me_.

I rub my eyes, and look again. Yes, it's _me_ who's still sleeping in my bed.

What. The. Hell.

I cross my arms, and notice that by body is definitely _thinner_. I'm also certain that I'm a little bit shorter than usual. There's something wrong.

I run to the bathroom and…nearly have a heart attack when I see myself in the mirror.

Or rather, when I see _Jack_ in the mirror. Under his Joker appearance, moreover.

I pass my hand through my hair – curlier than usual – and the reflection does the same thing. I run a long, thin, almost feminine finger on my bloody red lips.

Ok. Ok. I don't know how it is possible but it would seem that today…

_I'm Jack_.

How the hell did it happen…As if my life was not complicated enough!

I look at myself a bit more closely. It was strange to see a serious expression on the Joker's face. I smile, and immediately return to my neutral expression. His – no, _my_ smile – is simply too much frightening. Even without an ounce of madness put in it. I know Jack can put a genuine, almost cute smile on his face, but I really don't know how he does that. I will have to train.

Wait, what on Earth am I thinking? As if I'll stay in this body any longer! No, I have to find a solution! I can't be Batman in this body, and I'll definitely not take the Joker's part!

I have to wake Jack up – yes, because I'm sure that the 'Bruce' who sleeps in my bed is actually Jack.

I shake him gently.

"Mhhf…" he moans, with my voice – how strange!

"Jack, wake up."

It's really weird to talk with Jack's voice. I've always thougth he has a peculiar voice, that could go from low and menacing to high-pitch and joyful, and it was truly unsettling to actually _use_ his voice.

Jack finally opens his eyes and stares at me. He blinks. I smile a bit when I see him rub his eyes, just like I did earlier. Sometimes he's right, when he says we are the same.

"Me?" says Jack, smiling at me. "Why, hello Me! I didn't expect to see you! …Ugh, my voice is so deep, I almost sound like Bats!"

"That's because you are."

"Whatever do you mean, Me?"

He starts to laugh, but stops quickly, apparently noticing something's wrong.

"It's not my usual laugh…" he whispers, choked.

He looks up at me, and eyes my serious face.

"…Bats?" he asks, screwing up his eyes.

I raise an eyebrow.

"I'm afraid I am."

"But…But…"

He extends his hand toward my face, and looks at his arm.

"Oh my… My arm is so big! How many muscle can one have? …Bats…Tell me the truth. I am you, am I?"

I nod. I'm expecting him to freak out, but he simply laughs.

"HAHAHAHA! That is the most hilarious thing that ever happened in my life! HAHAHA!"

"Stop! Stop laughing with my voice, this is so wrong!"

"And stop trying to reason me with my voice, this is so wrong! Ahehehe!"

I frown.

"No no no, I don't wanna see any frown on my pretty face, 'kay? You have to loosen up, tight ass! Hehehe!"

"Please, be serious for a second! We need to find a solution!"

"Nooo. I need to go to the bathroom, admiring every part of that lovely, muscular, perfect body of mine." He stands up and runs to the bathroom. "Toodles!"

He giggles and then slams the door shut.

"Jack!" I bark, knocking at the door. "Stop being so childish! We can't stay like that, I have to patrol tonight!"

"Oooh yes! I had forgot that! " he answers from inside the bathroom. "How exciting! I'll get to be Batman! Hehehe! It's a dream came true, I'll have to thank my lucky star!"

"Jack…If you don't cooperate then I'll… I'll dye your hair pink!"

"I'm not listening, Batsy, the amazingness of your butt is too overwhelming!"

"Think about it! If your hair is pink, you won't be able to wear purple anymore, it won't fit!"

"Your pectorals are soooo hard! And those abs! I'll never get enough of it!"

"Nobody will ever take you seriously! Can you imagine striking fear through Gotham with pink hair?"

"Wow, Lil' Batsy is really as big as I thought it was! No wonder my ass hurts so much after sex!"

"Ok, THAT'S ENOUGH!"

I try to force the door, exept I forgot I'm not me anymore, and the Joker's body is not strong enough to knock down a door.

"Ouch…" I wince. "How can you stand to be that weak?"

"Hey, I'm not weak, Batsy-Boy, it's you who is abnormally strong! Really, I can't even turn the shower on without breaking it!"

"You are taking a shower?"

"Yes. Wanna join me?"

"No. That would be too weird."

"Oh, c'mon, don't tell me you've never dreamed of making out with yourself?"

"What? No!"

"No? Oh, I guess I'm just as narcissistic that everybody says I am, then. Hehe!"

I sigh, and decide to simply wait for him to be out of the bathroom.

An hour later – really, he's worse than a girl! – he finally opens the door.

I stare at him.

He's wearing a bright blue shirt, whose two first buttons are widely opened, revealing his – my? – chest. His pants are black and tight, - too tight – and his hair is messy. I've never been the type to flatter myself, but… _sexy_ was the first word that comes to my mind when seeing him.

"Like what you see, Darling?" he smiles. "I couldn't help myself. You're just so hot."

"Well…I can't wait to see Alfred's face when he sees you…"

Speaking of the Devil…

"Sir?" asks Alfred's voice from outside of the bedroom. "I came to wake you up. May I come in?"

I look at Jack, who's already giggling.

"Do you think we should tell him what's happening?" I ask.

"Nah. Where would the fun be?"

I grin. Ok, I have to admit, this could be fun.

"Sir?"

"Yes, come in, Alfred!" Jack answers.

Alfred obeys immediately. When he sees me, he smirks at Jack.

"Oh. I can see your…_friend_ has stayed for the night, Master Bruce."

I blush, feeling a bit guilty. Alfred deserved to know that Jack and I are a bit more than friends, and besides, I'm sure he had guessed already, but I'm still not ready.

"We were havin' a slumber party!" Jack said enthusiastically.

Alfred raises an eyebrow.

"My, my, you seem to be in an extremely good mood, Master Bruce." He smirks again. " And well dress, might I add. You spent a good night, I presume?"

I can see Jack is about to say something stupid, so I intervene.

"Brucie," I cooed, trying to sound as Jokerish as possible. "Let's take our breakfast, shall we, Darling?"

"Hm. If you really want to.", he answers in the most serious tone he is capable of.

When he passes in front of me, he whispers:

"I like it when you call me 'Darling', you should do it more often".

He winks, and I can't help to grin a bit.

* * *

The night comes, and I'm still in Jack's body. It has not been an easy day. While I think I did a pretty decent job at pretending to be Jack, I couldn't say the same thing about him. Funny, I thought he was a very gifted actor… But I think he enjoyed being me so much that he failed to play the part well. The worst had been when he insulted a woman who had started to flirt with him.

Anyway, no one had suspected something was wrong, not even Alfred or Tim. So I guess it could have been worst.

"Baaatssssyyyy! I'm ready for my patrol!" Jack shrieks.

He had put the entire Bat-suit on.

"I am Batman." He says with the Bat-voice.

Suddenly, I feel something funny: my heart just flinched at the hearing of the Bat-voice. As if Joker's body was _conditioned_ to react to Batman's presence.

I want him to hug me. To kiss me. To hurt me.

Oh God. I am attracted by myself!

Heh. That is…_funny_.

Hehehe.

"Bats?"

I can't stop myself from laughing! It's stronger than me! Is it this madness that the Joker always talks about? It is so strong!

I feel 'Batman' grabbing me by the collar, as I often do when dealing with the Joker.

"What's so funny, Clown?" he asked, still in his character.

"Heheehahahooo! Oooh do excuse me…Hahaha! I…Hahaha! I can't help it!"

"Are you mocking me?"

"No…hohoho! Not at all, Bats!"

Is it really me who's talking? Things are getting even weirder than before!

"I guess I'll have to punish you…" he whispers in a oh so seductive voice.

My body reacts immediately. I shiver, a wave of pleasure traveling down my spine. If it really is what the Joker feels when he fights me, I wonder how he had managed to not try to…to _rape_ me. After all, it took him _years_ to simply kiss me. I couldn't have resisted the temptation for so long!

He punches me, and it feels so good. I'm not a masochist, so it's strange for me to take pleasure from such a thing. But I'm not me, right now. I'm the Joker. And the Joker likes it rough.

I'm still laughing, and Batman is still punching. My body hurts, but I don't mind, because the pain comes from _my Batsy_.

He leans over me. God, he's going to kiss me. Yes. C'mon c'mon c'mon. Do it, Bats. Do it!

* * *

"Do it…do it..Bats…."

"Brucie?"

I wake up from… Jack's voice?

I look at him. It's really Jack, not me, _Jack_!

"Jack?"

"Who else? ...Wait a second, were you expecting to see someone else? I hope you don't cheat on me, Honey, because-"

"No, no I don't cheating on you. I just had the strangest dream."

"Yesss…What were you dreaming of? You were mumbling some very funny stuff in your sleep."

"Oh God." I sigh, passing my hand across my face. "I dreamed that we had switched bodies. You were me, I was you, and then I saw you as Batman, and I felt so attracted to you and… God, it seemed so real!"

"We had switched bodies? Hehehehe! Oh, that would be so funny! Hey, do you think we can actually do that? I'm sure the Weed, or even Spooky can put up some potion that could do that! I'll ask them tomorrow! Oh, I just can't wait to be you! HEHEHE!"

I sigh again, and go back to sleep.

Really, sometimes living with the Joker was soooo exhausting…


	15. Cure

**The last sentence is from "Death of the Family". TOTALLY CANON! *sqeaaaal***

* * *

For the first time in forever, Bruce Wayne was enjoying his evening. No parties, no work, no patrol – Nightwing had agreed to take Batman's job for tonight, since all the super-villains were in Arckham (well, expect for the Joker obviously) and thus, none real threat was upon Gotham.

Alfred had taken Tim to the cinema, letting Jack and Bruce alone together. Both men were currently watching a movie. Jack, all curled up against Bruce, was completely into the movie, laughing loudly at the funny parts, jumping – and then, laughing again - at the scary parts, and cheering each time the hero came into action. When the movie ends, he applauded, claiming it was the best movie he had ever seen. Bruce thought it had been a rather crappy movie, but he knew Jack got excited really easily. Anyway, he'd rather see Jack enjoying a movie than being bored by one, as he could get quite aggressive when he was not amused.

"The best part was when the guy died at the end!" Jack said. "Really, this isn't a god movie if no one dies."

"Was it the only thing you enjoyed?" Bruce asked, yawning and stretching.

"Nope. I also liked the tragic love story! Funny how the chick could not find the cure on time to save her fiancé, hehe! After all she's been through to find it! All the dangers! And he died in her hands! Now that's what I call a bad day, Ahehe!"

"Yes, well, too bad for her," Bruce said in a weary voice. He really did not care for that movie at all, and he was exhausted. For once, he got to have a full night of sleep, therfore all he wanted was to go to bed.

"Hey Brucie?"

He sighed.

"Hmmm?"

"If I were deadly sick, what would you do in order find a cure?"

He yawned again.

"Anything."

"Really? You would risk your life for me?" he asked with a big, big smile.

"I've already risk my life for you, what, a bigillion times? Even when we were not together yet, by the way."

"Yes, yes," he said, waving his hand. "But it was your duty to do so! As Batman you can't let anyone die. What I mean is, if you didn't have your stupid rule, would you risk your life to find me a cure?"

"Of course."

_I love you after all_, he thought.

"And if you had to kill in order to save me, would you do it?" he smiled even wider.

Bruce hesitated.

"I would try to find a way to save everyone, but… I guess I… Yes, I would kill for you."

"Despite all I did as the Joker?"

"Yes. I would still save you…Hum, can I go to bed, now?"

He was starting to get a bit uncomfortable by the subject, and wanted to put an end to it. Honestly, he had no idea if he would kill someone for Jack, or for any one else for that matter.

"Hey Bruuuuuciiie?"

"What?" he barked.

"You wanna know what I'd to in order to save you?"

"Oh, don't tell me you'd kill for me, I wouldn't believe you, "he said with sarcasm.

"I would die for you."

Bruce snorted.

"You ask Batman to kill you every time you see him, that's not a big deal."

"Okay, okay, I may not have been clear. What I mean is that, for you, Darling, I would let myself be killed by anyone."

Oh. Now Jack had Bruce's attention. The billionaire knew that being killed by anyone else than Batman would be the worst thing that could ever happen to Jack.

"If you were sick and that the only way to cure you was for me to be killed by – I don't know – the baker, or the librarian, or even that Cat-whore of yours, I would, Baby, without a doubt! No more Clown Prince of Crime! Gone! Forever!"

Bruce smiled, suddenly submerged by a strong feeling of love towards Jack. He took him in his strong arms, princess-like – making Jack squeal girlishly – and whispered in his ears:

"You know, I've heard somewhere that sex was the best medicine."

Jack giggled, and tightened his grip around Bruce's neck.

"That's the spirit, Honey. I like it when you talk dirty…"


	16. Cramped Quarters

**I didn't exaclty know what "cramed quarters" mean, I guess it's like a very close space or something? I hope I got it well XD**

* * *

The sirens of the police cars were howling in the dead of the night, forcing Batman and the Joker to run from them. Batman had been seen helping the Joker to escape from a murder, and now the entire town thought he was working with him, while all he had wanted was to deal with the murderous clown himself, at home. But he couldn't exactly explain that to the cops, could he?

"Joker, honestly…" Batman muttered, entering a phone box in order to hide.

"Hey, don't blame me!" the Joker said, getting inside the phone box as well.

"I blame you! If only you at least tried to not kill anyone, our life would be so much-"

"Boring?"

"I was about to say 'easier', actually."

"Easy IS boring."

"Shut up! They're gonna hear us!"

"Well, it's not as if we were well hidden! A phone box, really, Bats? I think you hung out with Supey a bit too much."

"Shut up!"

"…because unless this phone box is some sort of teleport, we are doom- Mhf!"

Tired of hearing the Joker's constant prattle, Batman shut him up with a kiss. The Clown moaned, and gladly returned the favor. Batman, while thinking to the proximity that the very small box offered, couldn't help to blush a bit…there was absolutely no free space between the two men…If the police found them, their reputation would be ruined. Well, Batman's reputation would be ruined, because honestly, the entire town already knew the Joker was obsessed with the Bat.

"Oooh Darliiiiing…Now I understand the tiny lil' box, you kinky Bat! Hehehehe!"

Batman kissed him again. He found this situation very….erotic. He didn't know why, but right now, all he wanted was to ravish his Clown. He had never felt that in bed, or anywhere else. Sure, he loved to make love to Jack at home but…here, there was something more. Was it the danger? The proximity? The fact that there was under their other persona?

"Bats…" the Joker whispered, as Batman started to slowly unbutton his shirt. "BatsBatsBatsBats! Whaa..What if they find us like that?"

"As if you cared," he growled in his ear, using the Bat-voice.

"Hehe…You know me too well, Darling."

Batman ran his gloved hands through the Joker's curls, while the Clown snuggled against his torso, giggling.

"_Shut up_," Batman ordered. "You are too loud."

"Your wish is my command, my King…"

Batman grinned. Yes, he was enjoying this. The Joker only obeyed him when they were 'playing' as he said. Seemed like he was the submissive type…

"Put off your trousers", Batman growled again.

The Joker obeyed immediately, revealing a pair of thin, feminine legs, with curves that a man should not been authorized to have. He was wearing a Bat-underwear, for Batman's biggest pleasure.

Batman started to put his suit off as well, keeping his cowl on. The Joker ran his fingers on the Bat's pectorals, biting his lips in order to not giggle like a schoolgirl.

"Well, well, weeeeell...What a sssssexy man", the Joker purred. "And he's all mi-"

"JOKER! BATMAN! YOU ARE SURROUNDED!"

When the young police officer opened the phone box's door, he froze.

"….What the…" he stuttered.

"Congrats, kiddo!" the Joker spat. "You've just ruined the fun!"

Batman sighed, and then simply punched the poor boy. He instantly fell on the floor, unconscious.

"Now let's hope he won't remember a thing when he wakes up," Batman said.

"I would not bet on it, Batsycake", the Joker laughed, wrapping his arms around Batman's shoulders. "Some things just can't be unseen, hehehe…"


	17. I'll punch you in the face!

**Thanks again for the reviews ;) I'd love to answer them personally every time, but I don't always have the time, unfortunatly... Anyway, BIG KISS for all of you who review !  
**

* * *

Jack woke up at ten this morning, and he was pretty surprised to not find Bruce by his side – the billionaire always woke up after midday on Saturdays, exhausted by his week. He stretched, got of the bed, quickly put his make-up and wig on in case Tim or Alfred would see him, and ran downstairs.

"Bruciiiiie! Where are you, Darliiiiiing? Your Sleeping Beauty has just woken up, and now she wants her true love kisssssss hehehehe!"

He got no answer, but he could hear some noise from the main living room, and thus decided to bounce gaily in this direction.

"Good morning, Brucie! Oooh and lil' Timmy and Alfie are there too!"

Indeed, Bruce, as well as Tim and Alfred, were all standing in the living room, and from what Jack could tell, they were busy…_blowing up some balloons_?

"Jack! You're awoke already?" Bruce shouted.

"Hi Jack!" said Tim.

"Good morning, Master Napier," Alfred said politely.

Jack giggled. He loved when Alfie called him 'Master Napier', because it made him feel like part of the family, like he belonged to Bruce.

" Helloooo everyone ! Watcha doin' with all those pretty balloons and…Are those candies, behind your back, Darling?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No." he answered, a bit too quickly.

"Yes, yes! Those are candies! Oooh can I have some, Brucie? Pleasepleaseplease!"

"No! I've already said no to Tim, it's too early to eat candies!"

"Oh, Darling, it's never too early to eat candies! Hehe!"

"If you let Jack take some, then you have to give me some as well!" protested Tim.

"If I may, Master Jack", Alfred intervened before Tim, Bruce and Jack started to argue more violently. "Those candies are for a birthday party that Master Bruce organizes in the mansion this afternoon."

"A birthday party, Bruce?" Jack repeated, clearly annoyed by the perspective of not being the center of Bruce's attention today. "And for who?"

Bruce eyed him for a second, and then he grinned.

"For a very important man you obviously know nothing about. Anyway, touch those candies and I'll punch you in the face."

"So mean, Brucie," he pouted. "What kind of grown man would enjoy a birthday party with candies and balloons, anyway?"

Alfred, Bruce and Tim looked at Jack.

"Well, except me, I mean!" Jack retorted.

"I'm pretty sure the Joker would enjoy that, don't you think, Jack?" Tim asked innocently.

Bruce froze, and Jack could read the panic in those lovely icy blue eyes of him. Tim was a very smart kid, and it wasn't impossible that he had guessed Jack's true identity, but nothing was certain.

"Surely", answered Jack with a cute smile, very different from the Joker's one. "Is the birthday party for him, Bruce?"

"Absolutely not", Bruce muttered.

Alfred snickered.

"Jack" Bruce said. "I think we'll need more balloons. Could you go out and buy some, please?"

"Hey, I'm not your butler, Alfred is there for this kind of things – no offence, Alfie."

"If you go, I promise to keep you some candies."

"Hummm…And some cake?"

Bruce sighed.

"And some cake."

Jack smiled.

"Deal! Hehe I can't wait to spread the cream of the cake on your-"

"Enough, Jack! Not in front of the kid!" Bruce blushed.

Tim laughed loud, and even Alfred chuckled a bit. Seemed like everyone liked to see Bruce embarrassed.

"Go, now." Bruce coughed.

"Okey dokey, Honey! I'll be back in a minute!"

He blew him a kiss that made him blush again, and then he left.

* * *

Walking down the street with a plastic bag full of balloons in hand, Jack couldn't help to wonder for who this birthday party could be. The man in question must be a close friend of Bruce, otherwise he wouldn't have thrown the party at home. But Bruce didn't have a lot of friends. Maybe Birdie number 1 ? Nah, he didn't like balloons. The Commish? No, he was rather a friend of Batman, not Bruce. And then again, he was more of an ally than a friend. Supey? Hehe, as if Bruce actually liked him!

Still in deep thinking, he pushed the heavy doors of the mansion.

"SURPRIIIISE!"

He jumped and dropped the bag of balloons. Once he recovered from the surprise, he let a wide, genuine smile spread on his lips as a multitude of confetti was falling on him.

"Happy birthday, Jack," Bruce said, putting his hand on Jack's shoulder.

"So…I am that very important man I know nothing about, eh Brucie? Hehehe. I guess you're right, I really know nothing about me, not even my own birthday! How did you know it was today? Have you just randomly picked a date or…"

"Well, at first, I wanted to ask your supposedly parents about you birthday but then I thought that the day Jack Napier was born must not be important to you, so…"

Bruce leaned over him and whispered in his ear.

"It's the day the Joker was born."

Jack linked his hands together.

"Ooooh Bats! You remember!"

"Of course," he grinned.

Tim arrived with the cake. It was a chocolate cake – Jack's favorite – with a lot of candies and little candles on the top.

"Happy Birthday!" he said. "We only had some purple and green candles, I hope you don't mind."

Jack smiled. Now he was absolutely sure Tim _knew_.

"Not at all, Timmy.", he answered in a mocking tone. "You know I love those colors."

"Actually, I didn't. I thought no one loved those colors together except the Joker."

"Heh, I guess he and I have a lot in common, then!"

"Yes, it would seem so…"

"Enough, both of you!" Bruce said, obviously worried about Tim finding Jack's identity.

He took Jack's hand and kissed him on his cheek.

"Ok…Go on, make a wish, and blow your candles."

Jack closed his eyes and wished for his life to always be this wonderful.

"How many candles are there?" he asked before blowing the candles. "I hope you haven't put too many, Brucie!"

"I had wanted to put five candles, as it had been five years since the Joker was born", he explained discretely. " But Alfred and Tim would have asked why I put only five of them. So I put twenty eight. Judging by your appearance, it should be approximately your real age."

"Hum. I guess it's okay. Not too old, not too young…Yes, I like it!" Jack laughed. "Happy twenty eighth birthday to me, then!"

And as he blew the candles, he thought that he would have to do something even more lovely for Bruce's thirtieth birthday in two months. Maybe the Joker could help him with this one…After all, what would a birthday party be without a clown?

Hehehehe!


	18. Selfish

**Timmy Time !  
**

* * *

Jack and the Joker were the same persons, Tim was now sure of it. To begin, they looked extremely alike. Sure, Jack's hair and eyes were brown, and his skin was not bleached-white, but they had the same face, the same expressions, and even if Jack's smile was most of the time charming and nice, sometimes, when he let it go a bit, Tim could see the Joker's smile on his face. They also had the same kind of laugh. True, the Joker's laugh was more…diabolical, but it was as crazy as Jack's.

They were both joyful, childish, narcissistic and mad, even if Jack was crazy in the good, funny way while the Joker was obviously an insane psychopath.

They loved jokes. All sorts of jokes. From the most innocent one to the twisted, dark one. Oh, and they got mad when someone ruined the punch line. Or if someone didn't get it. They were both annoyed by serious persons like Bruce.

Bruce. Ah yes, Bruce. Or 'Brucie', as Jack called him. So closed from the 'Batsy' the Joker always used. That was this strange obsession for Batman or Bruce Wayne that really gave Time a clue. The Joker loved Batman – it was obvious, even for a young child like Tim – in his own, sick, twisted way. And Jack most definitely loved Bruce too. But he was also fascinated by Batman. Each time he saw him on TV or in a newspaper, he got very excited. Bruce faked to be jealous, and Jack would laugh. As if it was some private joke between them.

As if Jack perfectly knew Batman was Bruce, and that Bruce knew Jack knew…

Jack and the Joker were both extremely…possessive when it came to Bruce/Batman. Even selfish, since they didn't want to share him with anyone. The Joker wanted to kill anyone who got too close to Batman, and Jack, even if it was a bit more subtle, disliked when Bruce spent too much time alone with Tim or Alfred. He wanted Bruce to be his, just like the Joker wanted to be Batman's. They both wanted his exclusive attention.

Tim sighed. He had always been a big fan of Batman. Even before being adopted by the Knight, he had known everything about him, and about his number one nemesis. But he could never have thought that the two enemies were actually…lovers. And that the Joker even shared Bruce's life. Worst, that he shared Bruce's _BED_. That was unbelievable!

Tim didn't really know what he thought about that. Jack was nice. He would have said he was like this funny, crazy uncle that every kid loved if it was not for the obviousness of his feelings towards his adoptive father.

No, Jack was like a… second father? A…_Mother_? Well, he definitely acted as if he was Bruce's wife. So…in a way, he was Tim's mother.

He made a face. No, he could never think Jack as his mother. Okay, he wasn't the manliest man he knew, but still.

Anyway, he loved Jack very much, and he was sure Jack loved him as well. He was part of his family. On the other hand, the Joker had tried to kill him. If he really was Jack, why would he want to kill him? Was he schizophrenic? It was a possibility. And it would explain a lot.

But maybe Jack and the Joker were simply two aspects of the same man, just like Bruce and Batman were. Bruce wasn't schizophrenic, but he acted differently when he was Batman. Maybe it was the same with the Joker…

Tim bit his lips. If the Joker and Jack were the same persons, how should he feel? He loved Jack, but he hated the Joker.

He should ask Bruce. His father must have been through the same mixed feelings concerning Jack before finally accepting both of his personas.

"Timmy?"

Tim turned and faced Jack. The man had a cute little smile on his pale pink lips.

"Oh, hi Jack," he said. "I didn't hear you coming, I was…lost in my thoughts. Have you seen Bruce?"

"Why do you want to see him?" he asked.

Tim grinned. Jack was frowning, just like every time he wanted to spend some time with his father.

"I have something to ask him."

"Ask me, then!"

"No, really, it's something only Bruce can answer."

Jack crossed his arms, which amused Tim even more.

"He's in _our_ bedroom."

Funny how he felt the need to accentuate the 'our' part, ad if he was afraid Tim would steal Bruce from him.

"What's so funny, Timmy?" he asked, noticing that Tim was now giggling.

"Nothing, nothing."

"C'mooooon! Tell me! You can't possibly hide something funny from me, can you?"

"It's just that…When it comes to Bruce, you are so…_selfish_."

"Well, he's mine. Of course I don't want to share him!"

"Just like the Joker doesn't want to share Batman?"

Jack smiled. But it wasn't his usual smile. It was the Joker's smile:

"Aaah, Timmy. Sometimes you're too smart for your own good, lil' bird."

He left, laughing madly.

And now, Tim _knew_.


	19. Old-fashion

Bruce was lying on his bed, watching Jack dress and gradually become the Joker. Even if he had got used to his 'dull disguise' as he called it, he still preferred being the Joker when it was only Bruce and him. And Alfred and Tim were absent today.

"I was thinking about something," Bruce said while the Joker was putting his purple coat on.

"Yes ? What it is, lambchop ?"

He grinned:

"Don't you think the tailcoat is a bit…_old-fashion_?"

The Joker's eyes became dangerously menacing, which amused Bruce even more.

"What did you say?" he hissed. "Me? Old-fashion?"

"Yes. I mean, you're 'twenty-eight', you are almost a teenager, you should be wearing jeans, or T-shirts, or things like that."

Bruce tried hard to not laugh.

"A TEENAGER, BRUCE?" he barked. "I'm not a fucking teenager, okay! I'm a grown man! If I was not, then I should press charges against you for pedophilia, by the way !"

"Come on, Jack. A grown man doesn't need a plushy-bat to sleep."

"Batty-Bat is NOT a plushy! She's my little pet! You don't allow me to have a bat of my own, so I have a plushy!"

"You already have a bat of your own."

"It's not the same, this one is awfully annoying. Especially today." he crossed his arms. "And I'm not old-fashion!"

"You wear a bow-tie on daily basis!"

"Bow-ties are cool! Everybody knows that. It's not my fault if you know nothing about fashion, Mister-the-only-color-I-know-is-black-and-oh-wait-black-is-not-even-a-color!"

"If I know one thing about fashion, it's that there are rules. And one of those rules is to never wear two flashy colors together."

"Of course, Batman follows the rules, how original!"

"And that's because I follow the rules that I don't look like a rainbow."

The Joker grinned.

"And why don't you want to look like a rainbow? Afraid to give the good people of Gotham a clue about your…orientation?"

"Maybe I just don't like colors!" he protested.

"Hehe, still in denial, are you, Darling?"

"Shut up! Gosh, I was the one who were supposed to bother you today!"

"I'm too cute for that," he said with a girly pose, biting his finger and batting his eyelashes.

Bruce couldn't help grinning. Yes, sometimes, he could be too cute for his own good.

He got out of the bed, and walked towards the Joker. He then took his hand and kissed it with passion.

"Hehe, a 'baisemain'? Oh, Batman, you are soooo…_Old-fashion_!"

* * *

**It was short, sorry I was busy today. Did you get the little reference to Doctor Who ? :D  
**


	20. I'll see you in hell !

The Joker was starting to lose patience. It had been half an hour since he had blown up this little building and his Darling Bats had still not shown up. Something was wrong, his Dark Knight never made him wait that long. He should already be pressed against some wall by the muscular body of the Bat, moaning and laughing in pleasure, maybe stealing a kiss or two…

He shook his head. This wasn't time to fantasize. It was time to find the Bat!

It didn't take him long to find him on a rooftop – he had always have this crazy sixth sense that led him to his Bat – and was pretty surprised to find him all tied up and gaged.

"What the hell, Batsy? Who did this to y-"

"Puddin'?"

He shivered. God, please, no, not this voice. Not this _girl_!

Before he could react, Harley Quinn's arms were all around his shoulders. The girl was sobbing loudly. It was so annoying!

"Oooh Puddin'! Where have ya been? I've been lookin' for ya for mouths!"

"Daddy was busy, Pumpkin", he simply said, petting the girl's head, trying to sound as charming as possible while all he really wanted to do was to kill this little idiot.

"Now tell me, my little minx", he asked, letting a scary smile spread on his lips. "Why is my bestest buddy in the world all tied up? Didn't I tell you that I wanted the Bat for _me_?"

"I…I'm sorry, Mistah Jay", she said, slowly moving away from her boss, in fear. "But…I though the B-Man had killed you, and I was so angry, and I wanted to avenge your death, and please don't get angry at me, Puddin'!"

"Killed me?" he repeated, walking towards Harley in a very menacing way. "And why on Earth would my Batman kill me? He'd be lost without me! His life would simply be so…unfunny! Aaah…Poor little Harley…Seems like you still don't get the joke that is the Clown and the Bat's dance…Poor, poor kid…"

He took her by the throat, and lifted her up above the barrier of the roof.

"Remember what happened the last time you played with MY toy?" he snickered.

"Pl-e-ase Mis…Mistah J-jay…." She begged. "Don't le-et me fall! I'll be-e a g-good girl!"

"Sorry, Pumpkin. But I can't take the risk to see you steal my favorite toy for me once again, can I? And this is why I'll see you in hell."

"No…Please, I'll be good! Puddin'!"

"Buh-Bye, Harley!"

And then he released her, watching her falling, and laughing maniacally. Oh, the joy!

But like every time he had a bit fun, the Bat had to ruin it. Indeed, Batman who had magically managed to free himself, fell in order to catch Harley and to take all the damages of the fall in her place, like he had done many times for the Joker himself.

"Bats!" the Joker shouted, both worried and angry.

He ran down the stairs of the building to see if Batman was okay. Fortunately, the vigilante was moving under Harley who was currently laid unconscious on Batman's torso.

"Why did you do that?" the Joker spat, taking Batman's head in his hands and kicking Harley away from his man. "No, wait, I already know this one." He took Batman's voice. " 'I did it for justice! I don't anyone's death on me, blah blah blah'. But seriously, Bats, Harley is nothing! I try to kill her like twice a day!"

Batman didn't answer, and simply stood up, carrying Harley princess-like. The Joker didn't like that at all.

"I have to quickly take her back to Arckham. I think she's all right, but I don't want to take any risks."

"You don't have to carry her like that!"

Batman grinned.

"Jealous?"

"Of her? C'mon, Bats, I know I'm better than her! Trust me, you really don't want her to be your girlfriend."

"It's perfect, then, because I don't want to."

"Then just throw her in the Batmobile instead of being all considerate with her!" he said, crossing his arms angrily.

Batman sighed.

"Would it keep you from making a scene?"

"Yes!"

Batman smiled, half amused, half annoyed, and threw Harley in the back seat.

"There," he said. "Happy?"

"Not until you carry me to the Batmobile just like you hold Harley!" he retorted with a smile.

Batman shook his head, but obeyed nonetheless.

"You know that you are a 'girlfriend' just as terrible as Harley." Batman said, taking his Clown in his arms.

"At least I don't call you 'Puddin''".

"Because 'Honeycakes' is clearly better."

"Oh, Hon', don't deny it, you loooove it when I call you that."

"I prefer Bats, if you ask me. Always been my favorite."

"I knew that for the beginning, hehehe. Hey, don't you think it's time for you to find me a cute lil' nickname?"

"You really want a nickname?" He took his Bat-voice, and whispered in the Joker's ear. " _Joker_…."

The Joker shivered in pleasure.

"Nooo…Please, keep calling me 'Joker' with that sexy voice of yours for all the eternity."

"As you wish…_Joker_…."

* * *

**I'd say sorry to all the Harley fans but... I really take pleasure torturing her~ Hehehehe! **


	21. Losing a sense

Sometimes, I really hate being Bruce Wayne. Because as Bruce Wayne, I have to pretend to be friend with some rich and spoiled playboys, who invite me to parties that I absolutely loathe.

Tonight, I'm at Sebastian Hopwell's party. And in all honesty, he is the most unbearable person that I have ever met. Even the Joker is not that annoying, and that's saying a lot.

He invited three others guys that I am apparently supposed to know but whose I can't remember the name. There is also a bunch of very attractive girls that are just there to entertain my 'friends'.

And the worst thing is, I have to pretend to enjoy that. It's very difficult to have a good time with a girl when I know that if Jack knew about that, he would kill her in a minute. Bloodily, I might add.

"You seem to be tense, Bruce," Sebastian says, sitting next to me, with one girl in each arm.

"Sorry, I'm a bit tired, I guess."

"Hum. Hey, how about a little game?"

I frown. Please, not a game. I hate games. Maybe because the only person I play with is the Joker, and that it always ends with someone's death. But, I'm Bruce Wayne, playboy billionaire. I can't refuse.

"Good idea", I say with a pleasant smile. "What game?"

"It's called, 'Pick a bitch'! "

Without caring to explain more, he blindfolds my eyes. Great, now I can't see anything. I feel weak, exposed, and that's really not a feeling that I enjoy. Losing a sense could be lethal for Batman.

Before I can ask what the hell is happening, I feel some soft lips crashing on my own. Okay, so it is _that_ kind of game. Well, what was I expected from a playboy's party?

This is boring. Not necessarily unpleasant, but boring. I let the girl that I can't see having her fun, and I unwillingly respond to her ministration, because that's what I am expected to do. She finally pulls off, and another girl takes her place. Seriously, how long will this game last? I could be doing so many things right now, like fighting criminals, having a nice cup of tea with Alfred, training Tim to be the next Robin, even if I still don't totally agree with his choice, or taking the Joker on a rooftop, under the moonlight.

Wait, what? Where is this idea coming from? Hum…Jack might be right, I'm becoming kinky…

Right now, I don't know how many girls had kissed me since the beginning of the game. Three? Ten? A thousand? As if I cared.

…Wait. I have to admit the girl that is kissing me right now is really gifted. Her kiss is not as vulgar as the other ones'. It's even _rough_. Okay, maybe I could allow myself a bit fun. That's what Jack always tells me, right?

I kiss her back, with the same passion. When I bite her tongue, she moans slightly and deepens the kiss.

What was the name of the game, again? 'Pick a bitch'?

"I pick this one," I say.

I can feel the girl smiling against my lips. Then Sebastian takes the blindfold off my eyes, so I can see the face of that wonderful kisser.

Unfortunately, it's dark. Sebastian must have switched the lights off while I was blindfolded, to add a little fun, I suppose. Honestly, I'm tired of not seeing anything!

The girl is sitting on my lap. I can't really see her features, but I can see her long, curly hair cascading along her back. She is thin, very thin, and she does not have a lot of curves except maybe for her hips and legs. Strange, I would have thought Sebastian would have only hired girls with incredible big breast and a curvy butt.

Even more strange, she wasn't wearing any obscene clothes, like a skirt that would barely cover her panties or anything like that. No, she was simply wearing a nice pair of trousers, that complimented her legs very well, and a skin-tight T-shirt.

"Hey, wait a second," Sebastian suddenly exclaims. "Who is this girl, I didn't hire her!"

He switches the lights on, but, to everyone's surprise, the girl is gone.

"You knew her, Bruce?" Sebastian asked.

"Not at all. She was a good kisser, though."

I pass a finger on my lips. Yes, she was a really good kisser. Nearly as good as Jack…

* * *

"I'm home!" I shout, entering the mansion.

Alfred immediately offers me to take my coat.

"How was the party, Sir?" he politely asks.

"…Unexpected", I answer with a grin.

"My, is that lipstick that I see on your lips, Master Bruce?" he says, raising an eyebrow. "You should better wipe it off before Master Napier sees it…"

"Ah…Hum, yes, thanks Alfred", I stutter, certainly blushing, wiping the lipstick off. "I..ah…think I'm going to bed, now…"

"Yes, I can see your night had been exhausting, Sir", he snickered.

I smile at Alfred, wish him good night, and then go to my bedroom.

I try to not be too nosy, thinking Jack must be asleep, but as soon as I land a feet in the room, I am welcomed by Jack's voice:

"Hey, Darling," he says.

He is lying on the bed, in a very seductive way… But that's not what strikes me. No.

He is wearing a long, curly, _purple_ wig, with a…

Oh, he must be kidding me.

He is wearing the wig along with a green, skin-tight, transparent T-shirt, and purple trousers.

"It was a very nice party", he purrs, rolling on his tummy. "Too bad I had to leave you so early, but I didn't want your friends to freak out discovering who I am. It would have ruined all the fuuuuun…Aheheha!"

"So it was you" I say, grinning. "Well, that explains a lot."

I climb in the bed and take Jack on my lap, just like earlier at the party.

"Care to kiss me again?" I ask.

"Mmmhh…Only if this time, I am the one who's blindfolded. It looked fun."

"Deal. You look too good, anyway. I'd die rather than not see you right now."

"Oooh you. Flattery will get you nowhere, you know that?"

I kiss him.

"We shall see…"


	22. One Good Day

When Batman woke up, he was sitting on a chair, his mind all blurry. He didn't know where he was, and couldn't remember what he had been doing before.

"Finally, he's awake!"

Batman opened his eyes, recognizing the voice. He was nonetheless quiet surprise to find the Riddler in front of him. He was grinning at him from behind what looked like a desk.

" Riddler…" he groaned.

He stood up from his chair, and noticed that he was in fact in a _church_. But that wasn't even the weirdest part. No, the weirdest part was that the Riddler wasn't alone: most of the other super-villains were sitting in the benches, facing the Man of Riddles.

Batman was ready to battle, even if honestly, he had not a lot of chances alone against all those adversaries. But he had to try.

No one attacked, though. They were just sitting on the benches, as if they were waiting for something to begin.

"Calm down, Batman," the Riddler said. "We are not here for a fight tonight."

"Then what?" he barked.

"Hum. Say, what does a possessive clown do when he wants the superhero all for himself?"

Batman frowned. He didn't understand the Riddler's point, but he wouldn't say it out load, the villain might think he's smarter than him. He would enjoy that too much.

"Riddler, the coins says that we should just start the ceremony _now_." said Two-Face, who had been standing next to the Riddler from the beginning.

"Wait, what ceremony?" Batman asked angrily – oh, we was so tired of all that nonsense!

Suddenly – and to Batman's biggest confusion – the melody of 'here's comes the bride' echoed through the walls of the church.

Then he realized._ A church. A ceremony._

It was wedding!

And…He was at the end of the aisle.

_He was the groom_.

Hum. It wasn't really hard to guess who was behind all that...

Batman turned to see his 'bride' - The Joker, naturally, who else? - who was at the other side of the aisle. He smiled at him, happier than ever. He was wearing his usual purple clothes with a long bridal veil.

When he arrived next to Batman, the 'audience' applauded.

"What the hell is happening?" Batman shouted at the Joker.

"Oh, nothing, Bats. I just want you to be mine forever. People who are in love do that sometimes, hahahaha!"

"And what on Earth makes you think that I want the same thing?"

"You do, I know it. You'd already be punching me if you didn't."

"You could have asked me!"

The Joker laughed.

"Sorry, Sorry, Darling. If I had known you wanted me to propose to you, I would have, trust me."

Batman groaned. He had to admit it, every time the idea of marrying the Joker had crossed its minds he had always imagined _him_ proposing to the Clown, not the other way around. But maybe the Joker had had enough of waiting?

"Listen, Batsy, this is not exactly a wedding," he finally explained. "Hehe, you really thought I would force you to marry me like that? I may be evil, but _that_ would be just plain mean! And I told you I was the romantic type; I want a biiiiiig proposal from you! With you on your knees and everything, hehehehe! "

"So what is it about, if it's not a wedding?" Batman asked.

"Darling, have you ever had one good day? The kind of day that is soooo good that it changes your life? Well, I had. _One. Good. Day_. Hehe, It was the day I saw you for the first time, when you threw me into that vat of chemicals. From that day, I knew we would be fated to be together until the end. I was your first super-villain, right? A first time doesn't mean nothing, Honeycakes. Soooo tonight, to honor our first meeting, I want to become your official number one nemesis!"

"That's the stupidest thing ever!"

"You don't want to take me as your arch-nemesis, Batso?" he said menacingly.

"That's not what I said!"

"Oh. Hehe, it's all set, then!" he smiled. "Eddie, you can start the ceremony!"

He took Batman's arm, and laid his head on the vigilente's shoulder.

"Joker," the Riddler said. "Do you want to take Batman as your arch-nemesis? To love him and hate him until death tears you apart?"

"Oooh YES I do!"

"And you Batman, do you want to take the Joker as your arch-nemesis, to love him and hate him until death tears you apart?"

Batman felt the Joker's nails penetrate his skin, as a warning.

"Yes, I do." he muttered.

The Joker squealed.

"I now proclaim you, Nemesis for life! You may strangle the Clown."

"Gladly."

Batman took the Joker by the throat and tightened his grip until the Joker could barely breathe, even if he was still giggling madly. Batman then punched him hard on the face, making his nose bleed.

Knowing the ceremony was over, the villains fled. They all could tell it was now between the two arch-nemesis, and none of the villains wanted to interfere in Batman and Joker's domestic quarrels.

"Ouh..." the Joker sighed dreamily as Batman lifted him above the ground. "An almost-wedding and a violent fight in the same day! This is definitely a VERY good day!" He puckered his lips. "Now all I need is you to take me roughly, Darling…And my day would be to-ta-lly complete, Ahehehehaha!"

"Don't count on it, Clown. Do you think I enjoyed waking up in the middle of all your little friends?"

"Oh, Bats, were you scared? Hehe!"

"Of course not. I was simply surprised, and I hate surprises."

"Yeah, right. C'mon, kiss me, now, my beautiful liaaaar!"

Batman threw him away, annoyed by the Joker's antics.

"What? Not even a little peck on the cheek? You really hurt my feelings, Bats!"

Batman ignored him, already walking away.

"You could at least admit I look good with that bridal veil. Doesn't it give you some ideas? Hehehe!"

"No."

And then he left, his cape flowing dramatically behind him.

The Joker sighed:

"Ah…seduced and abandoned…"


	23. Sacrifice

**I wanted to thank everyone who favorites or follows this story :) And of course, thank you so much for the reviews ^^**

* * *

So far, this night was perfect. I was pressed against the sidewalk by my Batsy, his muscular body so close to mine. I was laughing loudly, exposing my happiness to this oh so serious city, and to my oh so serious vigilante. The kind of night that I truly enjoyed, that always put a smile on my pretty face.

And my Knight was enjoying the fight too. I knew it. I could saw the excitation in his icy blue eyes. Hehe, he wanted me soooo badly. Y'see, deep inside, he was a kinky Bat. Ooooh the things this man wanted to do to me! It drove me craaaazy heehehehe!

He punched me hard, so hard that my blood soon spread on the ground, creating a lovely scarlet puddle around us. I started to feel all dizzy, but I didn't really mind. I kept laughing, giggling, because really, his fists were like tender caresses to me.

It was heaven. I was so happy that at first, I didn't notice the man who had just arrived in front of us. I only noticed him because Batman had stopped hitting me, and I didn't like that at all.

It was a simple, _insignificant_ little nobody. How dared he interrupt our dance? No one got on my way to Batsy's fists without being killed! I thought it was common knowledge in this town!

Oh, and it wasn't even the funniest part: the lil' idiot was pointing a gun ON ME.

How dumb can one guy be, honestly?

Ooooh now that I thought of it…Wasn't he the father of the brat that I killed yesterday? And now he wanted to avenge his child's death? Haha, that explained a lot.

"Go on, Batman", he stuttered – Pff, what a chicken. "Kill him. You know he deserves it. You've been playing with him far too long! Kill him, once for all! Get us rid of that scum, if you're a true hero!"

I laughed even more. Hehehe, if this guy knew about me and Batsy's relationship, it would kill him! Oh, the fun!

"I don't pretend to be a hero,", my Darling answered with this sexy Bat-voice of his. "But I won't kill anyone. Not tonight, not ever. Now drop that gun."

"NO!" he shouted. "If you don't have the balls to kill the freak, then I will!"

Bats stood up and walked carefully towards him. I hoped he would beat him hard, 'cause I really wanted my night to end with Batsy riding me.

"Don't do anything you might regret," Bats told him. "I know how you feel, but killing him is not a solution. Now drop the gun."

"I said NO! Why are you always protecting this psycho, Batman? Why do you always choose him over the city? If you had killed him the first time you got the chance, hundreds of innocent lives would have been spared! My…my son would still be alive!"

He aimed the gun at me, and I simply smiled. I knew how it would end: my Batty-boyfriend would punch him, saving the life of his ravishing damsel in distress and then make rough love to this same damsel in distress all night long.

Except that it wasn't what happened, because at the moment the Chicken was about to kill me, a group of armed men arrived. They started to shot us, forcing Batsy to take me and the guy away. He threw his bat-grapple at the roof above us, but we were too heavy and the grapple didn't manage to raise us more than a few feet above the ground.

"Well done, Batsy!" I said angrily – I was upset, my night was ruined!. "You just turned us into an easy-target!"

The armed guys were still trying to kill us, but fortunately they were not really good with guns and none of their bullets managed to actually hit us.

"The Bat-grapple is not strong enough to raise the three of us", Bats explained.

"Well, thanks, Captain Obvious," I said.

"We're all gonna diiiiie!" the guy cried. Really, what a coward!

Batman turned towards me.

"Joker…"

"Oh, no, I know what you're gonna say, and it's NO."

"Please, you have to take the Bat-grapple, and save the both of you while I stay to fight those thugs."

"Right, as if I'd let you die without me."

"Joker. Please, don't make things more difficult. It's my duty to sacrifice myself for the others."

I watched him in the eyes. Yes, I knew that. My Batman, the chivalrous knight in not-so-shiny armor… No matter what I'd say, he would sacrifice his life for us. Well, that was not funny at all…

I knew what I had to do.

I smiled at Batsy, and kissed him, not really caring what the shivering guy in the Knight's left arm would think of that.

"Goodbye, my love."

I let myself fall….and to my biggest surprise, Batman caught me before I hit the ground. He stared at me, his wonderful eyes reflecting a mix between anger and pain.

And then Batsy did the most unexpected thing ever:

He dropped the guy!

I watched the lil' nobody fall to his doom, and being ruthlessly killed by the thugs – they must have thought he was our ally. Or maybe they were just bloodthirsty, brainless criminals who'd kill anyone if they had the chance to. I didn't know, and I didn't care.

What I did care was my Knight's action. Because basically, he had just killed someone.

He had just broken his one rule.

He had just sacrificed what he stood for from the beginning.

_For me_.

The Bat-grapple finally raised us, and we both landed on a rooftop, far away from the criminals. I laid my head on his broad shoulder and he ran his hand through my hair.

"Rather him than you", he whispered weakly, apparently choked by what he had done.

I laughed:

"Awww, Batman…Hehehe…"

_My hero_…


	24. Rumor

**I wanted to do a very light and funny chapter, but I had forgotten that I had to do this one first. Sooo the funny chapter will be for tomorrow :D**

* * *

Bruce had been deeply depressed since he had let an innocent man die a few days ago. He knew that in a way, he had no choice. If he had not dropped him, they would have died, the three of them. But still, he could have sacrificed himself like he had planned to do. But the Joker would have followed him in his fall, and his sacrifice would have been useless if the Clown hadn't been safe.

He was currently eating some cereals on the sofa, in front of the TV. He had been doing the same thing on each morning since the incident, he felt too bad to take his breakfast with Tim and Jack. So he woke up early and ate alone, before leaving for work. At least at work, he was completely Bruce Wayne, and he didn't feel so depressed. Now that he thought of it, it was the first time in his life that he felt better under his fake persona…

He kept eating his cereals, when an image of Batman kissing the Joker came out on screen.

He spat his cereals and started coughing. Then he turned the volume up, and listened carefully to the journalist:

"This picture was taken a week ago by a Gotham citizen while he was walking his dog. According to him, the Batman was chasing the Joker. The two of them started to fight, but a few minutes later, the most famous nemesis of Gotham were kissing! Reality or brainwashing? Only time will tell…"

Bruce was completely choked. They had been so careful to not kiss in front of anyone! Now Batman's reputation was ruined! No criminals would be scared of him anymore!

"Care to explain, Sir?" Alfred said, entering the room, a newspaper in hand.

The photo was on the front page.

"It's a fake, obviously", Bruce muttered.

"Sir, please, I know you too well to see when you are lying. Besides, do not think I am blind, Master Bruce. I've known for a long time who Master Napier really is."

Bruce bit his lips, suddenly feeling like a little boy.

"I'm sorry, Alfred. I should have told you from the beginning, but…I was too afraid."

Alfred smiled slightly.

"Really, Sir. You should have known that I would not judge you. You are not a child anymore, you can do whatever you want to do. Of course, I would have preferred to see you in the arms of a nice lady, but I can see that you and Master Napier are meant to be, just like Batman and the Joker."

"So…You accept the fact that I…hum…love a psychopath? The man who had killed Jason?"

"Well…. I would be lying if I would say that I completely accept your choice. But I understand. And I know Master Napier loves you, it is all that matters."

Bruce smiled, and took Alfred in his arms.

"Thanks Alfred."

"Ah, Master Bruce. You know you always can count on me."

"I still have a problem, though" he said. " People of Gotham will start to gossip about me and the Joker. I really don't need this kind of rumor."

"I think the best thing is to not do anything about it, Sir. Showing that this rumor does not affect you."

"Yes, you're right."

"Or…You could simply accept your relationship."

Bruce eyes him.

"What?"

"If I may, Sir, Batman being comfortable with his sexual orientation could be a wonderful symbol of acceptance."

"Or it could destroy Batman! And besides, the Joker is not only a man, he's also a killer! What will people think of a hero who loves a criminal?"

"I would not know, Sir. Maybe they will enjoy this kind of story. A hero being in love with his nemesis, there is something awfully romantic in that. It could help raising your popularity. You would be the 'star-crossed lovers of Gotham'."

"…You are making fun of me, are you?"

"Maybe a bit, Sir," he smirked.

"Well, it doesn't help, Alfred!"

"I am deeply sorry, Master Bruce. But I'm afraid I cannot help you more. It's up to you. You should talk with Master Napier."

"Trust me, Alfred, you can't talk seriously with Jack. He will just find the picture hilarious, and say that now, we don't have to hide anymore. He will be quite happy about that."

"Then if he doesn't mind Gotham knowing about you two, why do you, Sir?"

"Because I'm Batman!" he growled. "The Joker doesn't care about what people think of him, he does what he wants, says what he wants, and acts how he wants! He is always true to himself. But me…"

Alfred put his hands on his master's shoulders and looked at him in the eyes.

"Then I will ask one question, Sir. Do you think a person as true as the Joker would like the man he loves to not fully accept his relationship?"

Bruce stared at Alfred. He was right. Jack would be very happy to not have to hide anymore. After all, he wasn't the one who was ashamed of loving a man. The problem came from Bruce.

"Thank you, Alfred," he said. "I know what to do, now."

* * *

When the night fell, Batman insisted on taking the Joker with him for his patrol. The Clown, despite being surprised, gladly accepted.

Batman soon parked the Batmobile. He took the Joker's hand, and brought him into a dark alley, which, the Joker knew, was usually frequented.

"Batsy?" the Joker said. "I can sense people watching us. Just saying."

"I know."

He crashed his lips against the Joker's lips, who responded immediately. He moaned against Batman's mouth, and played with his pointy Bat-ears that he had always found so cute.

A minute later, journalists came from everywhere, taking pictures of the couple, and asking some stupid questions such as 'How long have you been together?' 'Do you feel bad kissing a villain?' ' Will you stop crime now that you are with a hero?' etc…

Batman, seeing that the Joker was losing his patience, took him by the waist and threw a Bat-grapple in order to escape the crowd. They landed four alleys away, and then ran to the Batmobile.

"Well…"Batman sighed. "Seems like we are discovered, what a shame."

"Oh, cut the act! You made it on purpose! I know you, if you had wanted to be discrete, no one would have seen us."

"Does it upset you?" he asked, a bit worried.

"Me? Hahahaha! Don't be ridiculous, Batsy! I don't give a shit about what they're going to say. It just surprises me. But it's a good thing, you're usually sooooo predictable!"

Batman grinned.

"Then I have another surprise for you."

"What, you want to ask me to marry you?"

Batman, who was indeed about to make his proposal, backed off. If he had to propose to Jack, then he wanted it to be a total surprise.

He shook his head and said:

"No. I just wanted to say that I love you. I don't tell you often enough."

The Joker smiled wide before kissing his Bats tenderly.

Batman hold him tight.

_He would ask him later…_


	25. One wins but not the Other

"Where is Timmy?" Jack asked Bruce, while the billionaire was reading on the main living-room's couch.

"He's training in the Bat-cave," Bruce answered quietly. "Like he's been every day since I agreed to let him be the new Robin. He says he wants to be ready in case you have a case of schizophrenia and try to kill him in his sleep."

"Yes…He's been pretty cold with me since he knows who I am."

"Yeah, well, it's understandable. You tried to kill him."

"Pah, it was merely a game. He will get over it. Who could resist me, hum?" he batted his eyelashes, and Bruce simply rolled his eyes. "Speaking of game, Darling, wanna play something? I know you're feeling a bit depressed since you kinda killed that nobody two weeks ago, soooo I want to cheer you up!"

Bruce eyed him:

"Depends if it's Jack or the Joker asking."

He giggled:

"It's Jack, scout's honor!"

"I guess if I say no, you won't stop bothering me until I actually say yes, right?"

"Of course, hehehehe!"

Bruce sighed, and closed his book.

"Fine. What game do you want to play?"

"TWISTER!" Jack squealed, proudly showing the Twister box to Bruce who remained unimpressed.

"Where did you find that?"

"It was a gift for Timmy but he won't play with me," he pouted. "He's too busy hating me, or something. But _you_ don't hate me, right Bats? You will play with me? Right?"

Bruce smirked, wondering how he could say 'no' to that. Sometimes Jack was just too cute for his own good, especially when he acted like a five years old.

"I will play with you," he said. "But if you lose, you promise to not make a scene?"

"What? Me? Making a scene? C'mon, Brucie, I'm not a child anymore! Besides, I ALWAYS win!"

"If you say so…"

Jack happily clapped his hands together and opened the game's box. He then spread the plastic mat on the floor.

"I play first!" he said.

"Whatever."

Jack gave the little square board with the spinner to Bruce.

"Go on, turn the spinner!"

Bruce did as he was told:

"Left hand on the red".

Jack put his left hand on the red spot and then took the board, telling Bruce to put his right foot on the green.

After four rounds, it became more and more difficult for both of them to take the board without falling.

"What do we do, now?" asked Bruce. "I call Alfred, and I ask him to turn the spinner for us?"

"Ooooor we could change the rules?"

"What? No! I want to go by the rules, Jack, or there's no game!"

"Once again, how predictable of you, Honey…The new rule I was going to propose was quiet interesting, you know?"

"…Ok, what do you suggest?"

Even if Bruce couldn't currently see his face, he knew he was smiling wide. He could _feel_ it.

"Hehehe….I suggest that, for now, I decide what part of your body you put where, and you do the same for me."

Bruce grinned. He had to admit, it was an excellent idea. This game was starting to get a bit boring, and he knew Jack would make it much more…_exciting_.

"I'm listening," he said to Jack, using his Bat-voice, unconsciously – he tended to do that when he was on his 'kinky' mode.

"Huhuhu…I want you to put your right hand on a red spot."

Bruce knew what the Joker had in head : on of the red spots was on the Joker's right. If he put his hand here, he would be completely above the clown.

"Very well."

When Bruce moved, to place himself above Jack, their torsos brushed, causing Jack to make a cute little sound of pleasure.

"Put your left hand on the red." Bruce ordered.

And that's how Jack soon found his mouth only a few inches under Bruce's.

"Put your right hand on the purple," Jack purred.

"There's no purp…Oh."

Jack's boxer was purple. He only owned purple boxers – and a bat-boxer but he only wore it when he was the Joker.

Well, Bruce had been right. Jack did make things more exciting.

He slipped his right hand under Jack's trousers, caressing the curves of his butt. Jack moaned slightly, letting an ever bigger smile spreading on his lips.

"Put your legs around my waist" Bruce whispered in the Joker's ears.

"Only if you put your right hand under _my_ waist first, I don't want to fall and lose!"

"Fine…"

Bruce moved his right hand back up, until it met Jack's waist. Now only his left hand and feet supported his and Jack's weight.

"How strong you are, Darliiiing!"

He brushed Bruce's lips with his own, teasing him, but he did not actually kissed him.

"You are strong…" he whispered, smiling madly. "But I told you I wanted to win."

He tightened his legs around Bruce's, who winced and lost his balance, falling on Jack.

"HEHEHEHEHEHE!"

"Jack! Honestly! You cheated!"

"Heh, I only wanted to win! And I did! Hehehehe!"

Bruce growled and stood up, dusting his shirt.

"Awww, don't be mad, Honeycakes! It's only a gaaaaame! Are you upset because you didn't get to kiss me?"

"Hmf."

Jack took Bruce by his shoulders, tip-toed, and kissed him with passion.

"There", he smiled. "Are you still a grumpy bat, now?"

"Hmf."

He sat on the couch and started to read again, ignoring Jack.

"Oh, C'mon!" Jack shouted. "Now, who's making a scene?"


	26. Therapeutic

**This one is awfully short XD **

* * *

"Alfie…?"

Afred, who had been washing the dishes, turned to face Jack. The man's voice sounded soft and innocent, but Alfred would never be able to feel any sympathy for him. Not since he had discover who he was. Sure, he made his Master happy, but it didn't make up for all the murders he had committed, and that he _still_ committed from time to time. The best Alfred could do was to act politely towards the young man.

"What can I do for you, Master Napier?"

"Would you have something to fix…that?"

Jack pointed his face with his index. Alfred suddenly noticed how swollen his right eye was.

"Oh, my…"he said. "What happened?"

"Heh, nothing, really. Bats just wanted to play rough. He likes that, hehe. But I want my face to stay pretty, so I have to take care of it before it gets worst." He said, sitting on a chair.

"Master Bruce beat you?" Alfred asked, while he took care of Jack's injury.

"Don't act as if it was surprising, Jeeves. I'm the Joker, he's Batman, remember?"

It had clearly been the Joker who had just spoke, not Jack. Alfred thought the way the man could switch so easily between his personas was almost frightening.

"I would have thought that when you were Jack and Bruce, you did not fight each other." Alfred confessed.

"Ahahahhaaaaha! That's a good one, Alfie! Hehe, I _knew_ you were funny! Aaahhh silly lil' butler! Fighting is part of our relationship. I would have never fallen in love with him if he had not been beating me to almost death every time we met! Y'see, when dear Brucie punches me, it helps him releasing his anger. By letting him beat me, I help him feel better. It's kinda therapeutic!"

"Well, this seems awful to me, Sir. You sound like a battered woman."

"Awww, don't worry for me, Alfie! I am really happy with my condition. Brucie is a sadist, and I'm a masochist, we were meant to be!" he exclaimed, spreading his arms.

"I doubt Master Bruce is a sadist. I have to admit that he has some…anger issue, but he doesn't take pleasure into hurting others."

Jack burst out laughing, making Alfred jump.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! Y-you rea-lly a-re…Hahaha! You really are funny!"

"And what is so funny, Sir?" Alfred asked, a bit upset by the other man's behavior.

Jack stopped laughing. Only a wide grin remained on his lips.

"You think you know Bruce by heart", he said. "When obviously, you know nothing about him. At all."

"Do excuse me, Sir! I am the one who raised him, I think I know him well enough!"

"Oh, yes, you know him well enough, as you say. Buuuut, I know him _entirely_. Every part of him. I know him from the way he likes his coffee to his favorite position in bed. Do you know which one it is, Alfie? Hehehe…"

"I…Hum, I don't have to know that kind of thing, Sir."

"See? Told ya I know him more than you do! Ahehehe! But after all, it's a girl's duty to know her man by heart!"

Alfred didn't answer. Once he was done with Jack's injury, the younger man stood up from his chair.

"Thanks a lot, Alfie! I feel much better!"

He bounced gaily to the door, but before leaving, he turned towards Alfred.

"Oh, by the way… Brucie's favorite position is- "

"I really don't want to know, Sir."

Jack shrugged.

"Don't complain to not know him as well as I do, then."

And then he laughed.


	27. The end of Gotham

It was the end of Gotham.

Batman became aware of it, as he was facing the bomb that was threatening the city. Every single citizen has already fled Gotham. It was only Batman and Robin now, and the bomb, of course.

"Go, Robin. Leave the city. I take care of that bomb." Batman ordered.

"Are you sure you can handle it?" he asked.

"Yes, don't worry. I won't let Gotham fall."

Robin nodded, and then left. When he was out of sight, Batman sighed, putting his gloved hand on the bomb.

"You won't be able to stop it, will you?" asked the Joker's voice.

The Clown, who had been apparently hiding in the shadow all that time, walked towards Batman, a sad smile on his ruby red lips.

Batman looked down.

"No." he answered, his voice darker than usual.

The Joker didn't even ask why he had not left the city, knowing that he couldn't keep the bomb from exploding. He knew the reason already: Batman's aim was to protect Gotham. If Gotham was destroyed, then he had nothing to protect anymore, and thus, no reason to live. Batman's fate was to die for Gotham. _With_ Gotham.

He looked at the bomb. One minute left before the explosion.

"I'd tell you to leave," Batman said. "But I know you won't."

The Joker smiled, and wrapped his arms around the vigilante's shoulders.

"Ah, Batsy…If your duty is to die with the city, mine is to die with you, for I simply couldn't live without you."

He buried his head against Batman's chest, his green curls tickling the Knight's chin.

"I knew you'd say that," Batman said. "But you also know that I don't want to die knowing that I waw not able to save you."

"Don't' be stupid, Bats. From the beginning, our dance was supposed to end with us dying in each other's arms. There is no other possible ending. Do you really think it would be better for me to survive you? You know how obsessive I am with you…Your death would be the end of the world for me. I'd live a tasteless life, with no purpose, until I'd finally decide to kill myself to join you in the afterlife…"

Batman tightened his arms around the Joker's waist, holding him tight. He could feel the other man's heart beat against his own torso…

"Nothing I can say will make you change your mind, right?" Batman whispered.

"Indeed. I'll stay with you until the very end, my darling. Besides, what kind of love story doesn't end with the lovers' death? Hahaha!"

Batman couldn't help smiling a bit. Gosh, even in this kind of situation, the Joker had to laugh. That was one of the things he loved the most in the Joker. He was always happy, no matter how serious the situation was.

He stared in his sparkling green eyes, full of life, despite the fact that he was about to die. He wanted them to be the last thing he'd saw before the explosion. Those eyes…he had always loved them, from the first time they met…

"Bats?…"

"Yes?"

"Do you have…any regrets?"

Batman looked at the Joker with intensity.

"Well… Yes, I have." He admitted.

He took the Jokers hand and kneeled, before clearing his throat.

"Listen…I know this is pointless, considering the fact that we'll be dead in less than thirty seconds but… Ahm…I have to ask you."

"Oh, my…" the Joker giggled. "A-are you really doing what I think you're doing?!"

"Joker…" he said, using his best bat-voice. " Will you marry me?"

And, rather predictably, the Joker laughed. He was actually laughing so hard that he fell on the floor, leaving Batman speechless. The vigilente could feel the anger rising in him. He stood up, and took the Joker's throat.

"I'm serious, you freak!" he growled.

"I know! HEHEHEHE! But…HAHAHA! You know how long I've waited for you to propose to me? And you do it while we're gonna die? Ooooh you're too much!"

"JUST ANSWER, GODDAMIT!"

"Bats, it's a YEEEEESSSS of course!"

He crashed his lips against Batman's, and kissed him with more passion than ever. Batman's hands slipped from his throat to his ribs, than his waist, and pressed his body against the Clown's one.

"Oh, wait a second," the Joker suddenly said, pulling away from his fiancé. "I've forgot to switch the bomb off."

"…What?"

The Joker then pressed a hidden button on the bomb, and it stopped, at only one second from the explosion.

"There! We wouldn't want to blow up now that we're goin' to get married, would we? Let's save the firework for the ceremonyyyyy! Hehehehe!"

"…You mean that…You were the one responsible for that bomb?"

"Yes!"

"And you knew how to stop it from the very start?!"

"Of course, duh!"

"What the…Why did you do that?"

"For chaos!" he said happily. "Oh, and also because I reaaaaally wanted you to make your proposal. Teehee!"

BAM!

Batman punched him on the nose.

"Ouch…that was mean, Batsy!" the Joker laughed.

"You are the worst lover ever!"

"No, no, no, Bats. From now, I am the worst fiancé ever! Hahahahaha!"

* * *

**I like the idea of an apocalypse which would bring Batman and the Joker together 3 I may write a fanfic on that subject someday ;)**

**Oh, one last thing : I often see anglophones people writing the word 'fiancée' with an 'e' at the end. Actually, it only takes an 'e' when the fiancée is a girl. For a boy, it's spelled 'fiancé', without the 'e' :) **


	28. Outsider's point of view

David has always lived in Gotham, so as his family. He was born in this city, had went to school in this city, had found a job in this city, and right now, he was walking his dog in this city.

He was actually one of the few citizens that dared to go outside by night. Indeed, Gotham was even more dangerous under the moon light, but it was his city, and despite the many criminals that lured in the shadow, he felt secure.

Besides, for six years now, Batman was there to protect Gotham, and he did a wonderful job. True, since the Knight's arrival, a lot of 'super-criminals'- as they were called – has emerged as well, but Batman had managed to handle them all, and to put them in a cell at Arkham Asylum. Even when they escaped, Batman was able to take them back to the asylum, and the city was saved once again.

The vigilante had even managed to appease the Joker's madness. Oh, the madman still committed some crimes from time to time, but it was nothing compared to the bloody murders he committed when he first arrived at Gotham. Seemed like all the Joker wanted was to get the Batman's attention, and now that he had it entirely – there was not a night without the two of them fighting – he seemed to simply enjoy his time spent with his enemy.

David smiled, looking at the bright full moon, thinking about the Joker and Batman. There were without any doubt the two most fascinating characters of Gotham. Some feared them, some loved them, but there wasn't a man, a woman or a child who wasn't waiting for their next move. They were the big stars of Gotham – one more proof of the distress in which this city was, to have a villain and a super-hero as celebrities.

Of course, like any celebrities, a lot of rumors circulated about them. About Batman's true identity, about the Joker's past…and about their relationship.

Some said they were actually best friends, who just wanted to play hero and villain and that had decided to take the streets as their playground. Others thought they had actually developed some kind mutual respect over the years, to the point that none of them wanted to kill the other.

That was David's opinion. Otherwise, the Joker would have killed Batman long ago, he was sure of that.

Naturally, some people had made the suggestion that Batman and the Joker were actually chasing each other for the sexual thrill.

David laughed slightly. Heh, who knew what those two did in all those dark alleys, when no one could look? After all, as his daughter once said, no straight man would wear all that purple…And he had to admit that there indeed was some sexual tension between the two enemies. Everybody made fun of that….He could never forget last Halloween, when his daughter and her boyfriend had chosen to dress up as Batman and the Joker and that they had spent the entire party kissing and laughing…

He shook his head. He didn't really think they were lovers, but it was nonetheless a funny suggestion, and if the Joker was right about one thing, it was that Gotham needed to laugh.

He was about to go home, when he heard a noise…

He couldn't believe his eyes…It was Batman and the Joker, fighting on the rooftop, just aboce him!

His dog was barking loudly at the pair, but none of them seemed to care, to focused on their fight. And what a fight! So much hatred, so much passion! It was way better than a movie!

Batman punched the Joker, and the clown fall from the roof. Naturally, Batman caught him with what David would call a 'bat-rope' before he hit the ground . The Joker was now swinging above the sidewalk, giggling madly, hung by the bat-rope wrapped around his ankle.

Batman pulled him up until the Joker's face was in front of his own.

And then they did the unexpected:

They kissed.

David was speechless... how was a honest citizen of Gotham supposed to react in front of the Joker and Batman reenacting the kissing scene from Spider-man?

After a few seconds of pure silence, he decided to take a picture with his mobile phone. That was priceless! The press would praise him like a hero!

He looked at the picture, quiet satisfied with himself. His daughter would love that…

And so would Gotham!


	29. Love to hate

Batman had never seen that much blood in his life, and that was saying a lot. There was not a single spot in the room that wasn't stained with the red liquid. The smell was horrible. It almost made him sick…

The Joker was laughing in front of him, a knife at hand. A dozen of bloody corpses were lying on the floor, surrounding the evil clown and his knight. Batman didn't think the Joker had ever been that violent before...

"Why…" he asked, too choked to sound angry.

"Why what, honey?" he said in an innocent tone.

"Why are you still doing that? All that killing… I thought it was to get my attention. But you do have my attention. Day and night, I'm always with you. So why…"

"Oh, darling…" the Joker smiled. "Killing is simply what I do. It's who I am…a murderer."

"No. That's what the Joker does, and I hate him for that." Batman cut abruptly. "Can't you always be Jack? Forever?"

The Joker's eyes narrowed.

"Jack is not me, that's why I can't be him all the time," he spat. "He's only a fake persona that I created for you. If you hate the Joker, that means that you hate _me_."

"Maybe I do, then."

The Joker's heart flinched, but he kept an angry expression on his face, not wanting the Bat to notice he had hurt him.

"Yeah, right, you hate me," he snickered. "Funny, that's not what you seemed to feel when you asked me to marry you."

"Do you think I want to marry that?" Batman barked, showing the corpses around them. "Do you think I can seriously be in love with that? I hate this! Why can't you _change_!"

"Because I don't want to!" he answered in the same tone. "I don't want to become someone else just for your pretty eyes, Batman! The best I can do is to pretend, playing at being Jack by day, just to make our life easier, but don't ask me to erase my Joker persona. Don't…don't ask me to _kill_ myself. Gosh, Bats, I thought you had accepted this side of my personality, by now!"

"I will never accept that, Joker! How could I?

"Then why do you want to marry me?" he shouted.

"I want to marry Jack! _I hate the Joker_!"

The Joker remained silent. He felt horrible. _Betrayed_. He wanted to fall on his knees and simply cry, but he was way too proud to do that. Instead, he tightened his grip on his knife, and threw himself at Batman, aiming at his chin, the only part of his body that wasn't truly _Batman_.

How he wished he could say that he hated Bruce, but it wasn't true. The Joker loved Bruce, and if he had one rule, it would be to always be frank with himself. Trying to persuade himself that he hated Bruce, or even Batman, would only hurt him more.

But it did not keep him from wanting to make Bruce bleed for what he had said. No one would break his heart like that! He was the Joker, not a pathetic little school girl with a crush! Bruce would pay for that! If the Joker had to suffer, then he would make sure that Bruce would suffer with him!

Batman managed to take the knife from his hand, and to throw it away from the angry clown. He then rolled over and pressed the Joker against the floor, keeping him from moving.

"Move away from me, you bastard!" the Joker spat, wagging desperately under Batman.

"Not until you listen to me." He said, in a more quiet tone than before.

"I don't want to listen to you anymore! Let me go!"

"If I want you to be Jack, it's because I'm tired of our fights!" he shouted. " I want to live with you, to grow old with you! Who knows what is going to happen to us if we go on like that? Maybe you'll push me out of my limits and I'll kill you! Maybe you'll kill me by accident! Do you want that, Jack? Do you?"

"I don't know!" he whimpered. "Let me go, Batman!"

"Be reasonable, Jack! I don't want to hurt you anymore!"

"Why!" he shriek, tears coming to his eyes, now. "It's always been like that between us! That's how our relationship is, why do you want to change it?"

Batman stared at the Joker's eyes, and was astonished to actually perceive some _fear_ in those emerald orbs.

He understood.

The Joker was afraid of change. He feared that Bruce would not love him anymore without their 'dance'. Now that he thought about it, the Joker had never experienced some kind of 'normal' love. For him, love went along with suffering and beating. That's why he didn't want to change. He was afraid that Jack would not be good enough for Batman. Not special enough.

"Joker…please, don't worry." He said, using the softest voice he could. " We can live a normal life. We can live as Bruce and Jack forever."

"But you'll never give up on Batman! I don't wanna stay quietly at home while you go out at night to fight crime! I don't…I don't wanna be useless, Bats! I want to have a special place in both Batman and Bruce's life!"

Batman caressed the Joker's cheek tenderly.

"Then become a hero," he suggested. "Fight crime with me."

"…I…I don't know if I can do that."

"Sure, you can. Joker, I know you. You can do anything you want to."

The Joker's eyes flickered.

"…I'll try. For you. But... Bats? You don't really hate me, right?"

Batman smiled slightly. He kissed the Joker, tangling his tongue with his, running his gloved hands through his messy green curls.

"Does it answer your question, clown?"

The Joker did the only thing he could think of:

He laughed.


	30. Last

Batman looked down the chemical vat in which the Joker – who had been, by that time, known as the Red Hood – fell so long ago. This fell had marked a beginning of an area, a beginning of a seemingly endless dance between him and the man who had soon became his worst enemy.

Now he was waiting for that same man, except that, for once, it wasn't to fight. Their relationship had evolved in a very unique, yet not so unexpected way through the years. From mortal enemies, they became lovers, then fiancés… and tomorrow, they would become husband and…well, husband. That was crazy.

But for now, they had to do one more thing before the official wedding – the one with their families, the mayor, and certainly the undesirable press.

They had to celebrate their own private wedding, the one where they would be Batman and Joker, the one where they would be their _true_ personas.

This union represented much more than a simple wedding. It was also the promise of a whole new life, especially for the Joker, who would give up on his criminal life forever to become a hero of his own.

"Hi, Darling."

Batman smiled at the recognition of that sing-song voice that he used to hate and even fear so much only five years back. Now, whenever he heard this voice, he would smile like an idiot, as if it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

The Joker moved towards him, with this sensual, almost feline walk of his. He was smiling of course, but what stroke Bruce was the fact that he was wearing his usual Joker clothes. The only unusual things that he was wearing were the veil that he had kept from the day they became arch-nemesis and a short pruple wig, that gave him an androginous, almost feminine look. Strange, Bruce would have bet that for a ceremony that important, the Joker would have worn something more...original. He had almost expected to see him in a dress! But maybe he was saving the dress for the official wedding…hum…Yes, that was a possibility.

"Why this choice of clothes, Joker?" Bruce asked, kissing him on his ruby red lips.

"I wanted to wear my new super-hero suit for this event!" he said happily. "Don't you like it?"

"Well…those are you usual clothes…with a wig…and a wedding veil."

"Exactly!"

Batman raised an eyebrow, forgetting that his fiancé couldn't actually see his eyebrow right now because of the cowl. But he got the message nonetheless.

"Bats, I told you I wouldn't give up on who I am!" he explained. "I agree to be a super-hero, but only if I can still be me!"

"Why the veil?"

"Because I'm going to be you lil' wifey, duh!"

"You're going to be my _husband_, Joker."

The clown had recently developed the tendency to refer to himself in feminine terms, and it annoyed Bruce. Gender-issue was the last thing he needed. He was already insane enough.

"Oh, C'mon, Batsy, you know I'm only jooooking! Don't be so serioussss! Hehehehe!"

"Why the wig?" he asked, ignoring the Joker's last remark.

"Because it looks good on me?" he giggled.

Batman rolled his eyes, even if he had to admit that yes, the wig did look good on him.

The Joker took Batman's hands, laying his head on his shoulders.

"Sooo…" he said. "Batman…do you want to take me as your _husband,_ to love me until death tears us apart?"

"I do." Batman said, wrapping his arms around Jack's thin waist. "And you…Joker-"

"Nah, Joker is my super-villain name. I need a new one!" he cut childishly.

"Oh? And that would be…?"

"Hum….Lemme think. I need something that sounds like 'the Joker', I still want people to know that I'm a funny guy, ahehehehe!"

"How about 'the Jokester'?"

"Jokester? Joooookessssster…JooOOooOOokester! Joooo"

"Yes, _Jokester_!" Batman growled, clearly annoyed.

"Hehehehe! I like how it sounds!"

He took a heroic pose and claimed:

"I am the Jokester! Criminals and super-villains, beware! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Right…" Batman sighed. "Jokester, then. Do you want to take me as your husband, and to love me until death tears us apart?"

"Weeeell….It'd be hilarious if I'd say that I don't…"

"Jokester…"

"Haha, just kidding, Bats! Of course, I do!" he laughed, hugging Batman tenderly.

Batman then put a thin, purple ring around the Jokester's finger. The ring was beautiful, but it didn't actually look like a wedding ring. No, the wedding ring would come tomorrow. This one was more…_symbolic_.

The Jokester loved it like he had never loved anything.

"I now proclaim us Husband and Clown!" he said.

"May I kiss the 'bride'?" Batman asked, taking the Jokester's head between between his gloved hands and bringing him closer.

"Not so fast, Brucie-Bat," he teased. "I have to throw my bouquet first…"

The Jokester took from under his tailcoat a bright, red hood. The same one he had been wearing the night he became the Joker.

He looked at the red fabric one last time, and Batman could perceive some twisted nostalgia in those mesmerizing green eyes. Then the Jokester stared fondly at Batman, and, with a genuine, loving smile, he threw the red hood above his shoulders, right in the chemical vat.

And while Batman kissed the Jokester from the first time, the red hood gradually sank.

Batman smiled. Tonight might have been the Joker's last dance...

But it was definitely the beginning of a new one.

* * *

**THE EEEEND ! I hope you enjoyed this story, and thank you very much for having read it ^^ Love ya all! (As I didn't have the time to right something for the BatJokes week, I think I'll draw some BatsxJoker this week-end that I'll post on my devientart if you are interested - my ID is 'TheWhiteQuadroon') **


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